Miss Universe 2012 Recap – The Winner is Miss USA and her massive cleavage, guys

Miss Universe 2012 aired live on NBC tonight, and I dutifully watched the dickens out of the event.

Hosts Andy Cohen and Giuliana Rancic always do well under all the “this is LIVE” pressure and also work well together. If you guys recall, I’ve gotten to speak to both before and they’re perfectly lovely and like to have fun with the pageants.

Jeannie Mai was the backstage and social media correspondent and I have always adored her.

When Miss Universe 2012 (Leila Lopes of Angola) came out, I really loved her yellow dress. Did you? I know the black structural element on the hips was unusual, but it was haute couture and therefore acceptable! P.S. I totally want a tiara.

CHI was a sponsor, so they had a promotional spot. It made me laugh because they showed one of the women shampooing her hair in the shower while hearing full pageant make-up. For what it’s worth, CHI and Biosilk are both good brands anyway.

You know what sucks? The show shares the Miss Universe 2012 Swimsuit competition section, which is kind of boring since the swimsuits are all the same…. and yet they tell us we have to see the unique national costumes on their website! Those are seven moons more interesting, but they (mostly) show less skin.

When swimwear came on, I had two main thoughts: I want that perfect-looking body, and I want that perfect-looking hair. But I did enjoy hearing facts about the top 16. Something that stood out was that Miss Australia helps out with Operation Smile, a charity I really like. Obviously they were all beautiful.

Miss Universe Eliminated During Top 10:

Miss Turkey – Cagil Ozge Ozkul
Miss Peru – Nicole Faveron
Miss Poland – Marcelina Zawadzka
Miss Croatia – Elizabeta Burg
Miss Kosovo – Diana Avdiu
Miss India – Shilpa Singh

The Miss Universe 2012 Top Ten

Miss Australia – Renae Ayris
Miss Russia – Elizabeth Golovana
Miss Brazil – Gabriela Markus (Andy Cohen and Giuliana Rancic both have fun saying “Brazil”)
Miss France – Marie Payet
Miss Venezuela – Irene Esser
Miss USA – Olivia Culpo
Miss Hungary – Agnes Konkoly
Miss South Africa – Melinda Bam
Miss Mexico – Karina Gonzalez
Miss Philippines – Janine Tugonon

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler host the Golden Globe awards soon, and seeing their “we are so fabulous” promo for the show was perfect during this pageant.

Miss Photogenic Universe is Miss Kosovo – Diana Avdiu.

The Spa at Trump looks so great… I really wish I was Ivanka Trump sometimes. Damn. (And I pretty much competently hate Donald Trump.)

Some Observations on the Miss Universe 2012 Top Ten:

Miss Australia has such a great accent, of course.
Miss Russia seems kind of boring.
Miss France and Miss Mexico couldn’t speak English. This surprised me because I’d think other countries wouldn’t speak English (and they did), but that French and Mexican people would have a better likelihood of it. Am I making sense? I’m completely impressed by people who are bilingual. Oh, oh, you know what is a good movie? The Interpreter with Nicole Kidman!
Miss Venezuela looks a bit like Megan Fox.
Miss USA looks like Sarah Shahi a bit
Miss Hungary looks like Rachel Bilson in certain angles.

Who will get the Diamond Nexus Crown? Will it be me? Can I accept in my PJs?!

They were all wearing MAC Cosmetics, nice. Giuliana Rancic had a great gray and silver sparkly ballgown. Train was playing. It was a whole thing.

Miss Universe 2012 Evening Gowns

Miss Australia – Renae Ayris – Her sweetheart neckline white dress was gorgeous with the tulle mermaid bottom.
Miss Russia – Elizabeth Golovana – This cobalt blue dress had far too high a slit. It was like a bathing suit cover.
Miss Brazil – Gabriela Markus  – This silver dress was very body-conscious. Very sexy.
Miss France – Marie Payet – This long white and silver column dress was unexpected and elegant.
Miss Venezuela – Irene Esser – This was a fabulous emerald green, sparkling, Art-Deco looking dress. Very slinky, unusual, and gorgeous.
Miss USA – Olivia Culpo – This was WAY too much clevage, but pink and fun. Plus, a top bun.
Miss Hungary – Agnes Konkoly – This white strapless gown was too boring and looked cheap.
Miss South Africa – Melinda Bam – Gold leather sequins… I didn’t enjoy it.
Miss Mexico – Karina Gonzalez – Like a superhero cape… red dress…thing.
Miss Philippines – Janine Tugonon – A blue mermaid. I liked this dress.. kinda. The material was too thin. But I liked the idea of it.

My Best dressed Evening Gown: Miss Venezuela, Miss Australia, Miss France or Miss Philippines

Miss Congeniality = Miss Guatemala

Miss something (G?) in a white dress tripped a little but then smiled and laughed it off, which was smart to do. I should remember this in case I slide on the ice this winter.

Miss Universe 2012 Top 5 (Five)
Venezuela
Philippines
Australia
(That’s three of my top four best dressed that were named first, they need to hire me as a stylist!)
USA (Her sash covered her cleavage, thank God)
Brazil

Miss Universe 2012 Questions

Miss Venezuela – Her answer was a cop out and bad. No new laws, huh? No stances?
Miss Philippines – She gave a GREAT answer. I like her a lot.
Miss Australia – A decent answer, although it was an easy question.
Miss USA – Okay, her answer was great… until the end. She doesn’t regret picking on her siblings? Did she answer the question?
Miss Brazil – A good answer. Choppy because she used a translator.

Ximena Navarrete is really beautiful. Let’s see… She was Miss Universe 2010.

A moment of silence was observed for families in Newtown, Connecticut.

Miss USA had a lot of fun with her dress in the final look walk. That’s a smart move.

I predict the winner will be… Miss Philippines or Miss USA.  I don’t think Miss Australia is radiant and as confident as the others. I kind of feel like Miss USA might seem biased, although I also don’t know the last time a Miss USA won Miss Universe, so maybe not. My favorite is Miss Philippines…

Random Miss Poland sighting, she looked fun.

Miss Norway has a burlesque pink dress. It wanted to be like Satine’s in Moulin Rogue, but it was not very successful.

Miss Lebanon has a great green dress.

National Costume Winners

Indonesia
Peru
Panama
British Virgin Islands
Nicaragua
Brazil
Sri Lanka
Netherlands
Mexico
China (I agree!)

Miss Universe 2011 had a great silver dress.

TIME TO GET SERIOUS

Miss Universe 2012 Fourth Runner up is Miss Brazil
Miss Universe Third Runner up is Miss Australia
Miss Universe Second Runner up Venezuela
Miss Universe First Runner up Miss Phillipene
Miss Universe 2012 is Miss USA