Heidi Montag ‘Playboy’ cover out August 14th

Faux-surprised Spencer Pratt and drugged-up Heidi Montag

Last night at the Hollywood premiere of “G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra,” Heidi Montag and her creepy kidnapper Spencer Pratt showed off Heidi’s August “Playboy” cover. Because they brought a copy with them to pose with on the red carpet.

Of course they did.

I hate these two. Spencer Pratt is a self-involved delusional asshole and Heidi is his psychologically-abused hostage. I am loathe to help make them more famous, but I cannot believe they brought her “Playboy” with them to pose with on the red carpet. It’s disgusting.

Spencer was quoted as saying, ““See her powerful curves. They are powerful!” What is this, “Dick and Jane do ‘Playboy.'” See Spencer pimp. Pimp, Spencer, pimp!

He also had this gem about his wife’s pictorial: “Beautiful art. Not like Picasso art, real beautiful art, you know what I’m saying?”

Yeah, guys. Not, like, stupid Picasso art. Not like “Water Lillies” or “Sunflowers” or Delaroche or Jackson Pollock or Degas. Real beautiful art.