Whitney Houston is performing live right now. She’s wearing a belted yellow shit dress with a scoop collar and some ruffles. Her bangs are covering half her face and look entirely overstyled. But she DID give us the song everyone always wants to hear: I Wanna Dance with Somebody. Houston looked pretty uninspired while singing (until she finished) but the crowd still looked happy.

whitney-houston-dancing-with-the-stars

There were lots of things going on in the Dancing with the Stars finale tonight.  Whitney Houston perfomed another song where they had (presumably) fake dollar bills falling from the sky, there was Miss Piggy looking like Farrah Fawcett, Cloris Leachman wore mounds of metallic gold eyeshadow… but the thing that really got me was one of the costumes. Now, I know that dance costumes are SUPPOSED to be kind of wacky and dramatic. But there was one that stood out in my mind as the ultimate winner of tackiness.

Tom DeLay and his partner Cheryl Burke performed a Texas Two-Step to some song I had to google which turned out to be I Can’t See Texas From Here by George Strait. I follow country music very closely, as you can tell. Burke wore a white, fringe bra, short jean shorts…and then a belt that was literally just as long as the shorts and appears to have been made by a fashion student who just tied big white tassels together. What the WHAT? No.

Breaking update: Derek Hough just started like…thrusting his pelvis up into the air in a BLATANT display of uh…you know. This show is live. Um. For anyone who was upset about Adam Lambert at the AMA’s, they better get upset about this too. Because that was embaressingly graphic and ridiculous. One of the judges was like “That’s enough now, there are kids watching…” pretending to be joking but really wondering if they could sneak Hough a sedative later.

Sirlinksalot: Dancing with the Stars

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