It kind of looks like she's farting, doesn't it?

It kind of looks like she's farting, doesn't it?

Britney Spears cameoed on “Late Night with David Letterman” tonight on CBS, broadcast in from an undisclosed location to the do the Top 10 list. What was the topic? The Top Ten Ways the World Would Be Different if Britney Spears Were President. Oh lordy. They are as follows (with my thoughts afterwards), full video at the end:

10. I’d be the first president to wear eye shadow since Nixon (meh, not that funny)

9. We would only invade fun places… like Cabo. (that hits too close to home, methinks)

8. Free pie for everybody (is that a joke about how skanky Britney is? She’s just giving it away for free to everybody now?)

7. My Situation Room would be a cabana at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas (dollars to donut Britney doesn’t know what the “Situation Room” is)

6. I’d lure Osama out of hiding with the irresistible scent of my new fragrance “Circus Fantasy” (whatta you wanna bet she had to do a couple takes of that one because she kept saying “Obama?”)

5. Every presidential news conference would feature costume changes (not funny)

4. America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy (heh heh, okay. Kinda funny.)

3. Challenge U.S. to put night club on the moon end of the decade (ask not what the country can do for Britney, but what Britney can do for the country)

2. Three words: Vice President Diddy. (Let’s be real… more like Vice President Lohan)

1. Finally the media would pay some attention to me (that’s actually true. And probably makes Britney sad.)