At the end of last week’s episode, Sookie, Eric and Bill were all in danger. Will they live??? Well, of course they will, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be caught up in a new batch of trouble!

Two Guys, A Girl and a Vampire Blood Induced Dream

Alcide took Sookie, who was passed out after being shot, back to her house. Bill soon followed since Marnie, having Eric under her spell, went back to the Moon Goddess Emporium and let Bill go. Bill was trying to give Sookie blood, but she was passed out and not drinking! Oh no! Is Sookie Stackhouse going to die in a TV series based on the Sookie Stackhouse books? Not likely! She got enough to wake up eventually. First thing she asked upon opening her eyes: Where is Eric? The crestfallen looks that crossed both Bill and Alcide’s faces was classic. Bill told her Antonia has him, and Alcide was so mad that Sookie wanted to go after Eric that he stormed out. Bill needed to go back to his house to meet with Nan and basically told Sookie to stay put. So she got some much needed rest. But since she had both Eric and Bill’s blood fresh in her body that rest led to quite the dream. In it, both Eric and Bill came to her staking their claim on Sookie. But she told them that she loved them both and if they couldn’t deal with that, it was just too bad. Then she kissed them both and they both bit her neck. This was all scared with some incredibly cheesy music. Then she woke up. Things are going to be awkward for Sookie!

Cheaters is not a good show for a jealous girlfriend to watch

After giving up on Sookie, Alcide goes home to Debbie. She is in bed watching Cheaters (that ought to help her paranoia!) but pretends to be asleep when she hears/smells he is home. Alcide gets naked (woohoo) and gets in bed. But when he snuggles up to Debbie’s back, she gets the crazy wolf eyes. Oh dear. Next morning we first see Debbie go get a vile of V from a dealer who gives her the “one drop at a time” speech. She tells him this is not her first time at the rodeo (in much more colorful language) and then downs the vile. So much for staying sober. To my horror, she heads right for Sookie’s. Sookie is, understandably, a little nervous to see her since the last time Debbie showed up at the house she tried to kill Sookie. Memories… But Sookie “listens” to Deb whose mind keeps going on and on about how she just wishes Sookie would believe she wants to help her. So Sookie goes ahead and asks her for help. I have a serious issue with this scene – Debbie knows Sookie is a telepath. If Sookie doesn’t “dig deep” all she is going to hear is what Debbie wants her to hear. Debbie knows Sookie is listening. Why does Sookie just trust what she initially hears? Shouldn’t she listen later after Debbie thinks Sookie believes her already? That’s when she will get some honest mind-reading. Sometimes Sookie is as dumb as Jason. Anyway, Debbie agrees to help her with Eric.

Whatever you do, don’t call her Marnie

Back at Moon Goddess Emporium, Antonia shows the coven she has put Eric under (another!) spell and that he will do whatever she wants. Suddenly Tara gets a conscious and realizes that maybe Antonia is a little crazy and isn’t just out to protect herself from the vampires. Holly is with Tara, as is the rest of the coven, except cuckoo for cocoa puffs Roy, who seems to think Antonia’s idea of going to the tolerance rally tomorrow and showing how violent vampires can be (aka putting them under a spell and making them kill humans) is a good plan. Holly tries to reason with Antonia but makes the mistake of calling her Marnie. That does not blow over well. She traps everyone in the store so they can’t leave and tell her plan. Then Debbie shows up and flashes her wolf eyes at Antonia claiming she is there on behalf of the pack and they want to help. Meanwhile, Sookie sneaks in the back and finds Eric. He tells her she should leave and that he has been put under a spell to kill the king. Before Sookie can find out more, Tara comes in and points a gun at Sookie calling her dumb for coming here. (I get very mad.) Debbie sees this and starts to panic and then tells Antonia she brought her Sookie and then runs out of the store. Antonia yells at Tara not to kill Sookie because they can use her. Meanwhile Tara tells Sookie to “listen to her”and she does -as in listens to her mind. Tara tells Sook that Antonia is holding them hostage and plans to go kill Bill at the Dorchester Hotel. She says to charge her so Sookie can go try to stop it. (Okay Tara… not as mad at you.) So Sookie runs at her, and Tara in her one redeeming moment this season lets her go. Antonia is MAD and then locks the coven up and leaves with Roy. Tara tries a door and it burns her hand. Then in the most unintentionally hysterical moment of the season, Tara tells another girl to try the front door. And she does. With her bare hands. And also gets burned. Not the brightest bulbs.The husband and I laughed a lot. Outside, Sookie catches up with Debbie, who was obviously hoping to leave her behind, and Debbie takes Sookie to the hotel.

Sam the Bunny and Tommy the Sam.

After Marcus leaves Luna and Emma’s, Sam suggests to Luna that they pack up his truck and just head to the woods and avoid dealing with Marcus for awhile. Luna agrees and later we see the new happy family hanging by a lake in the woods. Emma talks about how she hopes she is a shifter not a were because she wants to be a bunny so she can pet one. Luna dives in to the whole “it doesn’t matter what you are” speech that moms know so well, but Emma just rolls her eyes. She’s not looking for a pep talk – just a bunny. So Sam goes behind the tent and turns into one. Cute. Meanwhile, back at Merlotte’s Tommy is writing a sorry/goodbye letter to Sam when Marcus walks in looking for him. He gives Tommy a business card and tells him to tell Sam to meet there so they can talk. Later, Marcus asks Alcide, who is now fully on board with the pack, to back him up when he talks to Sam. (Sookie really should have given everyone in her life a run down of her friends for occasions such as this) He hesitates, not liking to get into other people’s fights (since when?) but agrees. Of course, when Sam shows up, it is just Tommy as Sam, but the weres don’t know that. He tells Marcus Sam hasn’t slept with Luna but his brother did and it was awesome. So they beat him up for mouthing off and are bit surprised when he passes out and turns back into Tommy. Alcide carries him off. I’m interested where it is going with with Alcide and the pack.

Jessica Hamby: Vampire Birth Control

After being thrown out of both Hoyt and Jason’s houses, Jessica headed to her vampire daddy’s house. He was busy with that whole “witches in the cemetery fight” thing though, so poor Nan was stuck there listening to her cry and ramble on about her love life. Nan, the always tactful woman she is, told Jess that she used to think she would take time out from work and become a maker, but the past two hours with Jessica were enough to make her rethink that for eternity. Hysterical. When Bill comes back, he has to catch Nan up on the witch problem. She’s none too happy since this involves being silvered during the day (apparently she didn’t get that memo since she hasn’t been in Lousiana). The two fight it out while they decide on what to do about tomorrow. They both blame each other for the downfall of the current vampire status. But they decide they are going to go ahead as planned with the rally tomorrow, even if Antonia is still a threat. Hey guys, bad plan!

Jesus the Badass Brujo

After Lafayette, possessed by the ghost of the lady in the yellow dress, took Andy’s gun and Mikey, he went to Hoyt’s house. (I was right – same house as the flashback) Hoyt had just finished putting together a “Monster box” for Jessica with all of her things – still bitter, Hoyt? – when Lafayette, who I will now refer to as Mavis, came in waving gun and threw him out. Hoyt called Jason who was already at the Bellefleur’s trying to figure out what happened to Mikey. Terry, of course, goes into crazy army mode, but Jason convinces him to stay put (he doesn’t). Jason and Andy head to the house (although Andy forgot the pants Hoyt asked for them to bring since he had yet to get dressed when Mavis came in). Andy knocks down the door after getting annoyed that Mavis keeps referring to him as a white man, but Mavis just shoots at him. Terry and Arlene show up, but they are all just stuck outside while Mavis is in the house with Mikey and the gun. Arlene calls Jesus to come help. First Jason asks if acting like a woman is some sex game with Laf and Jesus. Then Terry starts spouting out a plan in military speak. Annoyed at both of them, Jesus just goes to the door. He comes in, and starts talking to Mavis, since he is the only one who understands this isn’t Lafayette. Mavis is confused. She thinks Mikey is hers and doesn’t understand she is in Lafayette’s body. With some help from Jesus and a spell, she remembers that the father of her baby killed her and the child and buried them outside. She gives the baby back to a confused, but relieved Arlene and Terry. The men dig and find both Mavis and her baby’s remains. As Laf/Mavis hold the dead baby, Jesus does a spell releasing Mavis from Lafayette. All of them – Laf, Jesus, Jason, Hoyt, Andy, Arlene, Terry and Mikey – see the ghosts of Mavis and the baby standing there before they go off to wherever it is they go – Heaven or whatnot. The storyline may have been wacky, but I was moved by that moment. Later, Hoyt asks Jason to take the monster box to Jess. He reluctantly agrees when Hoyt pulls the Best Friend Card. So he goes to Bill’s (after scribbling out the “monster” label on the box). She thanks him. He says he is going to go…. And then they have sex in the back of his truck. Of course.

When a peace rally goes awry

Bill and Nan are at the hotel in the ballroom where the tolerance rally is going on. A girl is on stage telling a story of how when the vamps came out of the coffin, she got her sister back, so she is thankful for TruBlood and for the vamps. Outside, Eric catches the eye (on purpose) of the three vampire guards out front. He leads them on a chase which ends with Antonia putting a spell on them. Eric hides in a balcony while Bill gets up to talk. Debbie drops Sookie off at the hotel (Sookie tells her to go home to Alcide) and Sookie runs in yelling for Bill. But this just sets off a horrific chain of events. The three vamp guards, now under a spell, kill three human guards in the Russell Edgington “rip out their spines” way and then drop the lifeless bodies from the balcony. Everyone runs screaming and the vamps go on a killing spree with bodies literally flying everywhere. Before Sookie can get to Bill, Eric jumps down towards him with Sookie yelling “RUN!” from the crowd.

I have to say, this wasn’t my favorite episode. I think I was distracted too much by the complete cheesiness of Sookie’s dream. (What was that music?!) The ending of the ghost/baby/doll arc, while moving, was fairly anti-climactic. And is that it now with them for the final 3 episodes? I’m hoping Arlene was right and Rene is haunting them (Laf would see him eventually!) because they baby was weird before he got the doll. I’m not worried about Eric/Bill here too much because I just don’t see either of them dying. Alan Ball looooves Bill and the ladies would riot if Eric was off the show. I think I’m most interested in the Alcide/Debbie issue, mostly because of where the characters go in the books. Alcide seems to be heading in the direction of his book counterpart and to be honest, I’m not necessarily happy about it. Whatever happens – I’m intrigued to find out what happens in these last few eps, and what more can I ask for than that? One thing I will say for this show – I’m never bored.

What did you think? Hit the comments and let me know! Written by Melissa Miller. Find her on Twitter @serrae

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