Summer is here and you know what that means: Those crazy citizens of Bon Temps are ready to stir up some trouble once again! True Blood is back, vampire lovers!

True Blood Recap: She’s Not There

Last Season On True Blood….

Since it’s been 9 long months, let’s have a quick reminder of where everyone left us: Bill and Eric stuck King Russell Edgington in a concrete foundation. Bill then promptly tried to do the same to Eric, but Eric got out. Sookie was mad when she found out that Bill started seeing her as a task from the Queen so they broke up. Bill & the Queen fought about it. Tara had enough of vamps and shifters and telepaths (oh my!) so she cut off her hair and hightailed it outta Bon Temps. Jason had a new girlfriend, Crystal… she was a werepanther from backwoods town, Hotshot, which Jason was left in charge of when Crystal left town. Sheriff Andy looked longingly at a vile of V. Lafayette got a boyfriend, Jesus. He’s a brujo (aka witch) and thinks Lafayette is too. Lafayette’s reaction: bitch, please! Sam found out he had a brother, Tommy, who was also a shifter and a bit of an ass. Sam took him in, and they got annoyed and shot him. Terry and Arlene are having a baby! Too bad the baby is murderous psychopath, Rene’s, and not Terry’s. Arlene’s convinced he will be eeevil. Hoyt finally said goodbye to his Momma, and moved in with Jessica, who he now lets drink from him. The vamps in general are left with the PR nightmare that was Russell murdering someone on national television. Oh, and Sookie found out she was a faerie and went into a ball of light with another faerie, Claudine.

15 minutes or 12 and ½ months later…..

So, when Sookie went into the light, she was taken to Fae, the home of the faeries.  Everyone was very happy and eating “light fruit.” Apparently it is very tasty, but Sookie, being the occasionally bright girl that she is decides not to eat. Unfortunately, it is too late for her ol’ friend, Barry the Bellboy and her Grandaddy Earl (Gary Cole), who has been missing for 20 years, but looks exactly the same age. Why? Because this place is like that casino in Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief – the people there are trying to get you to stay and when you do, it is like no time passes, but in reality it’s been ages. Turns out Bill showing up in Fae last season made the Faerie Queen a tad unhappy, so now she is harvesting all those humans with a bit of Fae in them and sealing off the portal. The Queen goes all scary ugly faced so with the help of her fun electric hand power, and some rebel Fae, Sookie and Grandaddy Earl get back to Earth (Cue Bill and Eric with the eyes popping open, sensing Sookie!). But since Earl’s been sucking up those light fruit, apparently he doesn’t make the jump very well, and after a sad goodbye over his wife Adele’s grave (I still miss you Gran!!)  he turns to dust.

Sookie heads for home, which is all fixed up after the endless disasters (you remember all the maenad sacrifices and werewolves….) and there are also improvements. And lots of construction workers. Both Sookie and the workers seem confused at the other’s being there. Then Jason comes in. In a cops uniform. It’s not Halloween. He’s a cop. Has been for awhile. For reals. During those 15 minutes Sookie was dealing with the ugly/pretty faes, about a year passed on Earth. Everyone thought she was dead. (Well, almost… we’ll get there) Andy is annoyed because her open case stopped him from getting a plaque. Also he’s totally addicted to V, so that isn’t helping. Bill is happy to see her. So is Eric who is quick to point out he didn’t give up on her (see!). Bill orders him away (yep, orders. Wait for it) and nicely leaves Sookie who hasn’t had a year to deal with their issues like he has. Jason, meanwhile, sold the house to some holding company (red flag! red flag!) so Sookie looks to get some help in getting it back. She enlists the super lawyer powers of Andy’s sister, Portia Bellefleur (Courtney Ford). She is very pretty, and kinda flirty with Bill, which if you read the books, you know is super icky because the Bellefleurs and the Comptons are related. He is like her great great great grandfather or something…. Anyway, she agrees to help Sookie. But her mind is all on Bill (again, ew). We’ll get back to the house…..

The Residents of Bon Temps:

Let’s just run this down: Tommy is now in the care of Maxine Fortenberry, Hoyt’s mom. He wears a button up shirt, combs his hair and says grace. Looks like he was only shot in the leg. Sam is paying for his physical therapy. He is also in “anger management” which is actually him and 3 other shifters who sit around, drink, bitch and, you know, shift. This week, into horses. He is only half happy to see Sookie. Arlene and Terry are the proud (or not) parents of little Mikey. (I found it funny that was his name because the baby reminded me of the baby in Look Who’s Talking who was also named Mikey) When we first see Mikey, he is sitting amongst a pile of Barbies that he just decapitated. Arlene is very disturbed. Tara is now Toni. She is a cage fighter (which is what you do when you runaway after your life goes to hell. See: Ryan Atwood on The OC). She is also a lesbian. When she finds out Sookie is alive (via text from Lafayette) she wavers, but stays with her girlfriend. Lafayette and Jesus are still together, and despite not wanting to be a part of it, Jesus keeps pushing Lafyaette towards witchcraft. They join a coven, along with Merlotte’s waitress, Holly, run by Marnie (Fiona Shaw) who is already a little cuckoo. (She brought her dead bird back to life. When it immediately died again, she was thrilled. Yep…) Jason, along with being a cop, is also still taking care of the people in Hotshot and bringing them food. Their thanks: to hit him in the head and lock him in a freezer. Jessica and Hoyt have the typical marriage: dramatic fights, laughter, drinking blood. Although, it may not be enough for Jess who eyes a fangbanger during “date night” at Fangtasia. Nan, Eric and Pam are at work trying to get humans to not be freaked out by Vamps. Oh and speaking of vamps – remember how I said it seemed like Bill ordered Eric to leave Sookie’s? It’s because he did… Bill’s king now and busy running a political PR campaign to bring the humans and vamps together peacefully. He’s also keeping tabs on the witches – he has a mole in Marnie’s coven.

Now about the house….

Sookie is happy, back at home. Portia hard at work to get her the house back. And it’s been a long couple days for her, or year, depending on how you look at it. So she does what any other single girl would do. Take a shower, throw the towel towards the bed, and grab a nightshirt. Although, that towel didn’t hit the floor. It hit a 6’4” Viking Vampire. (Swoon). She tried the “I rescinded your invitation” line, which of course doesn’t matter, she doesn’t own the house now. Thing is…. Eric does. He knew she would be back eventually (True Love) and if he owned the house, he’d own her. So he bought it.

“Sookie, You are mine.” *FANGS*

Alright, Truebies, what did you think? Glad to have it back? Season 4 premiere take away all the *blah* so many people had about the Season 3 finale? Sad there was no Alcide? (I was….) Annoyed by book changes? (Bill is King?!?!?) Let’s hear it in the comments!

Coming up this season, based on the previews: Sex, Fangs, Screaming, Fights, Alligators, Witches, Scary Faeries. So, same old same old. Can’t. Wait.

Written by Melissa Miller. Find her on Twitter @serrae

Want more, Trubeies? Check out: True Blood Review Questions for “She’s Not There”

She’s Not There Recap via Video:

Inside the Episode

Read Small Screen Scoop daily for all your fangtastic True Blood season 4 news… and other vampire puns.

Tagged: , ,