In this True Blood season 4 finale recap we keep track of the bloody deaths for you.

The title of the episode is “And When I Die” – frankly this could be said by almost half the cast, so perhaps we should just get to it. Just for fun, I’ll keep count of the deaths.

Lafayette, are you alright in there?

At the end of last week, Marnie went inside Lafayette, and it took the entire breakfast the next morning for Jesus to figure that out. Someone did not eat their Wheaties! Unfortunately, once he did make that discovery, things just went downhill from there. Marnie told Jesus that she wants all of that uber-strong brujo magic, and she will do whatever she has to to get it, including kill and torture Lafayette. We get a brief glimpse that Lafayette is fully aware and feeling inside which makes when Marnie slices Laf’s chest even harder to watch. But Jesus will do anything for his boyfriend, and agrees to give up the magic. Unfortunately to do that (or just because she is evil) Marnie has to kill Jesus. (#1) And she does.


Halloween at Merlotte’s

After quite the night at the Moon Goddess Emporium, Sookie is having a shaky morning. As in “she sees Adele dead on the floor” kind of shaky morning. Tara and Sookie, back to being BFFs, talk about Adele and what she would want for them (less trouble, obviously) and if she is in heaven. They talk about how they want to grow old together. DING DING DING. If you watch as much TV as I do this probably set off alarm bells. But anyway…. Sookie headed to Merlotte’s to, um, I don’t know, she doesn’t work there anymore and she didn’t know about Tommy dying. But it did allow her to see Sam after he got back from Tommy’s sort-of-funeral. (Maxine “Call Me Mama” Fortenberry was hysterical at that, by the way. And I cheered with delight when Luna and Emma arrived.) Sam finally found out that Tommy fired Sookie – a last farewell from his brother! But all is good, and Sam hired Sookie back. Sookie, 5 minutes back on the job, took the time to sit and talk out issues with Alcide. They forgave each other for any nasty words and then he told her he thought they should be together, because it was better than Eric, Bill or Debbie. Before she could answer, he got a call and had to go. Then we shifted to Arlene (oh my gosh, her kid dressed up as someone from Teen Mom 2! I die!) who was surprised to see an old friend of Terry’s come in. One she never heard of – Sargent Patrick, I believe. (Noooooel! Or, Scott Foley, if you live in reality) One who Terry apparently saved during the war. It was like something clicked in Terry. And that something was not good. More like the crazy button was pushed. Bad stuff! Also bad – poor Tara goes to check up on Lafayette and instead finds Jesus dead.

Don’t tell your best friend you slept with his ex when he has a chainsaw!

Those are the words I said often to Jason during that five minute scene when Jason decided Hoyt had a right to know what was going on with him and Jessica. Thankfully, neither of them are part of my death count tonight. Although their friendship might be. To say Hoyt didn’t take it well is a bit of an understatement. Just ask Jason’s face and his rib cage. Jason tried to use the “I drank her blood” excuse, but Hoyt just said that Jason was missing a part of him that would make him realize you don’t do that to people. Poor Jason. Of course later he is consoled – by Jessica dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood. They are a funny couple. She is wanting to try new things sexually and doesn’t want a committed relationship. She is literally and figuratively Jason’s dream girl! I want things to work out for them, but then I picture Hoyt’s sad face and I’m torn….

The Walking Dead

That evening Holly comes to Merlotte’s dressed as a fairy and scares the crap out of Sookie. “There ain’t nothing scary about a fairy” says Holly. Boy, does Sookie have some stories for you, girl! But there is no time, not two seconds after they both say they’ve had a feeling in their gut that things are still bad, does Tara come rolling up saying Marnie is back. Okay, let me just say that I’m so happy that Tara went back to being the smart one and realized, just looking at Jesus’s dead body, what had happened. They know Marnie is going to be after Bill and Eric and rush over to the King’s mansion. Of course, they are too late and Marnie already killed a lot of Bill’s guards (too many for my body count) and has the vamps silvered to a stake to burn just as Antonia did. This doesn’t stop Bill and Eric from bickering. Just get married already you two. The three ladies show up with not much of a plan – just an idea of Holly’s – but get Marnie talking enough to let Holly do her thing. Marnie starts the fire, and Sookie tries to faerie light Marnie out of Lafayette, but it just makes her go all Devil-faced Brujo. It does however get her out of the circle Holly made. The three girls join hands and chant and bring back all the ghosts of Bon Temps. Including Adele. I cry a little at the sight of her in her house coat, I miss her so! Antonia is there also, to help talk Marnie out of crazy town. Adele rips Marnie out of Laf and Antonia tells Marnie that the after-life is amazing and life is torture. Leave the vamps alone, they are stuck here forever which is punishment enough. So they all go. But first Adele tells a crying Sookie to follow her heart. She’s upset, as is Lafayette, but Bill and Eric are just standing up there and crispy, so they have to call for attention. Needy boys! Meanwhile, there is one more ghost who Holly set free – Rene! When Arlene sees him outside she thinks he isn’t real, and then thinks he is there to kill her. But as evil as Rene was, he did love her, and he isn’t there to bring her harm – he is there to warn her – something wicked this way comes! And it’s coming from Terry!

Heartbreak in Lousiana

Like I said, there are a lot of deaths this week. Laf lost Jesus and because it was his body that killed him, he is left with that guilt. Thankfully, as a medium, Jesus can quickly return and tell him it isn’t his fault, so stop it! It was a sweet goodbye, and I’m glad Alan Ball gave us that moment. And as Jesus said, Lafayette can see ghosts, so he can come back whenever (Come back to me, Kevin Alejandro!!). Over in Shreveport, Pam is suffering heartbreak over her relationship with Eric. She is beyond upset that in the 100 years she’s been with him she never lost him until that blonde girl named Sookie. There to comfort her as she has an out of character breakdown – dear Ginger, who seems to have grown a soft spot for Pam. And then there is Sookie and her two vampire boyfriends. After she feeds them both (while they wear matching robes!!!) she tells them both that she loves them, forgives them all their wrongdoings, but has to be done with them because she just can’t choose. Either way leads to heartbreak. Sigh…. it’s sad. But a moment of hope in Bon Temps: Andy finally gives flowers to Holly. He tells her about the V and how he is doing better. But Holly’s had a rough couple days, and she just wants a hug. It’s good enough for Andy. Melts my heart. I wanted to hug him too.

The Cliffhangers:

Ok, let’s do this one by one.

-Sam says goodbye to Luna for the night, because she doesn’t feel Emma is ready for a sleepover. He tries to get mushy, but she thinks it will jinx it. He does it anyway, claiming life is crap so embrace the good. Well, should have listened to your girl, Sam. As soon as she pulls away he sees a visitor on the porch. A werewolf visitor. That looks oddly like Marcus, but it can’t be, right?

-After Jason and Jessica are done, she goes to feed. She doesn’t want to feed on him yet, because that’s too personal. But not 10 seconds after she leaves, there is a knock. Jason thinks she is back. She isn’t. It’s Steve Newlin. Vampire Steve Newlin. Wow. I guess we know what he’s been doing these 6 months he’s been missing.

-The call Alcide got was to a site he was doing construction for. But the guy who made the call had been glamoured. All he remembers is something happened the other night (not sure which night, though). What does Alcide find? A big hole in the concrete and some empty chains. I missed you SO MUCH Russell Edgington! I can’t wait for you to be back!

-Nan (and her “gay stormtroopers”) arrive at Bill’s mansion. She has news – she left the AVL and quit/was fired from The Authority. She wants Bill and Eric to join her in a rebellion against the Authority. She is supposed to be there delivering the True Death to them both, but she just realizes that means she will be next, so rebellion it is! And she holds Sookie and her very enticing faerie blood over their heads – yes she knows what Sookie is! Bill and Eric say, go ahead and kill Sookie, they are so over her. She says they are puppy dogs when it comes to her. They don’t take kindly to that, so Eric kills the gay storm troopers, (2,3 and 4) and then Bill kills Nan (5). “What a bitch”

-Sookie comes home later, and finds the house oddly quiet. When she hears a noise she turns around and finds Debbie Pelt in her kitchen with a shotgun. Debbie says she should have killed Sookie a long time ago. Tara comes and sees what is going on and jumps in front of Sookie just as Debbie pulls the trigger and gets her head practically blown off. (6 – my internal alarm is rarely wrong!) Sookie takes advantage of the shock, rushes Debbie, grabs the gun, sits on her, and then blows Debbie’s head off.(7) She goes to Tara and cries for help.

Aaaand scene.

Wowza. That was a lot of finale. By the time we got to Tara I was emotionally spent. I’m glad her character got some redemption at the end and died saving her best friend instead of doing something dumb.

So what are you thinking for season 5? I have lots of thoughts based on the books, but I want to leave that out of it. Both Sookie and Lafayette are going to be so distraught I don’t see how they will go on! It’s going to be a long wait til next summer. So let’s talk it out in the comments!

Written by Melissa Miller. Find her on Twitter: @serrae