Not everyone is meant to be a vampire is an idea that was made very clear in tonight’s episode of True Blood. On the other hand, some really, really like it. Like the Authority members that the episode title, “Authority Always Wins” makes reference to. This episode had quite a bit of mythology and liquid silver, so let’s get to the crazy, shall we?

True Blood “Authority Always Wins” Recap

Photo: HBO

The Fine Policemen of Bon Temps
Things were sort of all over the place for Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and Andy (Chris Bauer). First, they found Debbie Pelt’s abandoned car, which isn’t going to lead to anything good for Sookie. In the car was a vile of V, and after a moment where he thought about keeping it, Andy handed it over Jason. Let’s all give Andy a slow clap for growing up and actually being sheriff for a minute! But later he had one of the other cops, Kevin, expunge that speeding ticket of the judge’s son that was brought up last week. The kid was doing 80 in a school zone. Not cool, Andy. Not cool.

Jason had a lot of little things going on. He watched Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) talk on TV about how Jesus loves Vampires and he is in a great relationship with a girl. Meanwhile Steve went to Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and offered her 10 grand for Jason (then 15, then 20). But after having a good time messing with Steve, Jess wouldn’t sell her friend and tried to pull the “my daddy is King” card. Steve pointed out that he’s not anymore. Jess got pouty. Anyway, back to Jason – he also got sucker punched by some kid who said Jason is the reason his parents are breaking up – Jason slept with the kid’s mom. Crazy Sharon, I believe. As Jason pointed out, he’s slept with most of the female population of Bon Temps. At least he is honest! Jason also tried to go make nice with Hoyt (Jim Parrack) who is back living with Mama Maxine. Oh Hoyt… no. No, no, no. Which is how Jason felt about it too, and offered his house to Hoyt. Hoyt is a big baby and said no. Maxine outwardly told Jason how awful he was, then quietly thanked him for breaking Hoyt and Jess up. Classic Maxine.

Wolf Worries
Marcus’s Mom, Martha (Dale Dickey), and the rest of the wolf pack continued to take their share of dead Marcus’s remains. This continued to gross me out. Then Martha and the pack told Alcide (Joe Maganiello) he needs to respect the pack, take a bite and become the new pack leader. Alcide still wanted nothing to do with it, so he just said he was sorry, hope they find a good leader, but he’s outta there.

Also outta there were unwelcome shifters, Luna (Janina Gavankar) and Sam (Sam Trammell). They went home to tend to Sam’s wounds and check on Emma. Things were fine until Martha showed up wanting to see her granddaughter. Luna didn’t want to let Martha anywhere near her, but Martha said when Emma becomes a wolf she will need a pack. Luna doesn’t want to believe that Emma will be a wolf – she’s hoping she’s a shifter. When Sam agrees that maybe Luna should let Martha see Emma… woah boy, things spiral quickly for these two. Lots of names are used and it ends with Luna throwing Sam out and him happy to leave. But turns out, maybe Sam was right, even if he was maybe offering parenting advice where it was unwanted (a bad idea, fyi). Luna went to check on Emma, but instead of an adorable little girl, she found an adorable little wolf pup. Looks like someone may take after dad after all.
Freaked Out Fry Cook
Things are getting worse for Terry (Todd Lowe). His crazy is reaching new levels. He stands over the bed, asleep with his eyes open talking about how they are all going to die. He pushes Arlene (Carrie Preston) in the kitchen of Merlotte’s when she approaches him from behind. He starts to have flashbacks to the war when some fire flares up in the frying pan. We still don’t know what happened over there, but part of the frenetic flashbacks was someone lighting a lighter.

Arlene decided she needed some answers so she went to see Patrick (Scott Foley) at his motel room. [Insert inappropriate comment about going to see Scott Foley in a motel room here.] Unfortunately, Patrick wasn’t very forthcoming with the info. In fact, he downright lied saying he didn’t remember anything out of the ordinary happening during the war. Terry shows up, mad at Arlene. But Arlene, being awesome, points out that she has kids and can’t afford to let this crazy go on any longer. She lets the boys talk it out – they discuss one particular guy who Patrick thought was dead but Terry says is still around and head off to see him. Hmmm…. still not sure what is up, but SCOTT FOLEY! So who cares.

Original Recipe Pam
Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) heads back to Fangtasia after keeping Tara (Rutina Wesley) from killing Sookie and Lafayette. As her maker, she commanded Tara not to drink blood from them or kill them. How nice. But as for the rest – they were on their own and we’ll get to that. Back at the bar, Pam tried to get in touch with the missing Eric (Alexander Skarsgard), thinking he is just avoiding her. Then she thought back on to simpler times when she was not, how do I say this… oh right, when she wasn’t dead.

Human Pam was the madam at a brothel who had seen a lot of awful stuff – like a murdered hooker, who clearly was not the first she had lost as madam. She was pretty much just as badass as she is now. Pam met Eric when he rescued her from a not so nice man trying to rape and/or stab her on the street in the middle of the night. Eric seemed impressed with her toughness and she was impressed with his… everything. He is kinda cute. Look for this flashback to continue in future episodes. I know I’m excited for more Pam!

The World’s Most Annoyed Vampire
Back at Sookie’s house, Tara went on a tear throughout the entire place. And I mean a tear. She was literally running into walls and knocking down the fridge. I could almost hear Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) yell at her, “Bitch, we just cleaned!” They tried to get her to drink some True Blood and calm down, but it wasn’t working. Eventually, they had to trap her by getting her to drink some of Lafayette’s blood to distract her while Sookie (Anna Paquin) grabbed her with silver chains so they could put her in the Vampire Hideout under the armoire in the living room.

Sookie took a time out during the day (did they ever sleep?!) to go get some anti-vampire stuff from a local store that sells that stuff. The store was funny as was the hick who ran it. She got what is basically aerosol silver spray to put up around the outside of the house. When Sook got home she “heard” Laf down in the hidey hole, with a stake over Tara’s heart. He was mad they did this to her and wanted to end it, but Sookie stopped him saying sometimes it just takes getting used to. When Tara finally did wake up that night she told them she would never forgive them for what they did to her, and she ran outside… and right into the aerosol spray. It slowed her down, but she still ran off. Oh Tara… no offense, but I wish they had just let you die.

Back at the Authority – Bill (Stephen Moyer), Eric and Nora (Lucy Griffiths) are held prisoner at the Pentagon like headquarters of The Authority and each interrogated. Bill is interrogated by Dieter (Christopher Heyerdahl – Hell on Wheels) and Eric by Salome (Valentina Cervi). Basically – they want to know who killed Nan and if they were on the Authority’s side when it came to mainstreaming. The Authority thinks it’s imperative to the Vampire’s survival. And despite the horrible torture of being injected with liquid silver (someone had a lot of fun coming up with new ways to screw with vampires in between seasons, it seems!) neither Eric nor Bill turned on each other. Or Nora. Those two… they are okay.

Here’s what stood out to me – the introduction into the vampire mythology a bit. The basics are that before Adam and Eve there was Lilith and she was the ultimate being created in God’s image – a vampire – and Adam & Eve were her food. She is the one they worship, along with God. Now, for those who watch other shows of this genre, specifically Supernatural, Lilith is not a completely new piece of religious mythology. She has actually always been quite fascinating to me and one of my favorite pieces of the Vampire Lore, so I was pretty excited for her to be so important this season.

She is also apparently part of what makes the Authority powerful, as Roman (Christopher Meloni) the Guardian of the Vampire Authority used his blood to be part of “Lilith’s Blood” in their little ceremony. Speaking of, I loved seeing some of my favorites, Carolyn Hennesey as Rosalyn and Peter Mensah as Kibwe – other members of the Authority.  Although the kid, Jacob Hopkins as Alexander, was freaking me out. I kept thinking “How can they let him on this set?!?” But anyway…. Roman is very unhappy with everything that went down with the witches last season and wants Bill and Eric to pay. But Bill makes the offer that they will help them catch Russell Edgington in exchange for their lives. Or even just help catch him before they are killed. The Authority didn’t know Russell was back, so Roman was pretty pissed about that, but for now – that’s the deal. As for Russell… he looks like crap, but he appears to be getting stronger and will soon be laying out the sassy one liners.

What did you think of the episode? I thought it was… okay. I’m not loving the very separate stories. I want people to interact more often. Does the cast even see each other anymore??

Written by Melissa Miller. Find her on Twitter @serrae

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