Does anyone else remember when this show was amazing? I don’t mean just “amazing” but uh-maz-ing. What has happened?

sookie and sam

Sookie and Sam. Photo: HBO

The first two seasons were some of the best TV ever but it doesn’t even seem like the same show anymore. I mean, TV is supposed to be an escape, right? I loved drifting off into Sookie Stackhouse’s southern vampire mystery world every Sunday. It was fun fantasizing about being an obscenely high-paid waitress with slightly supernatural abilities who was being courted by a centuries old southern gentleman vampire. But it seems like I’m just disappointed all the time now. Sure, there are bits here and there I like, but for the most part I find myself yelling at the TV and coming away annoyed. If I wanted to deal with disappointment and annoyance I’d just reflect on my life! ::rimshot:: But seriously. I want my old True Blood back damn it!

I think I’ve come to accept that Sookie and Bill are never, ever getting back together. Whatever it is that is truly happening to Bill has hardened him and that couldn’t be any more evident now. I don’t think Sookie has ever really thought things through in the past and that hasn’t changed either. I’m so beyond fed up with her “relationship” with Warlow that I need a new word for it. Warlow’s “love” for Sookie is complete and total BS and is a slap in the face to real love on the show. How can he say he’s loved her for 6000 years when he’s barely known her what–a couple weeks? Has it even been that? He is in love with the idea that he’s destined to have some mate out there and that mate just happens to be Sookie. And how could Sookie even entertain the idea of agreeing to be his forever or whatever crap line he keeps throwing at her? What if Sookie wants children? Do you think vampires are allowed to adopt? And I don’t have a clue what that scene with Sam was about. When’s the last time they even spoke?

As for Sam I’m kind of furious with him. Wasn’t he just professing his love for Luna? And now he loves Nicole? Do any of these people live in the real world?! (Okay, no they don’t, but you know what I mean!) I didn’t particularly like Luna very much but on her behalf I’m hurt, offended, and mad. The way they sat holding hands across the table and were all like “I love you” “Really? I love you too, yay!” I felt like they should have passed each other notes with instructions to check the box next to “Do U luv meeee?” At least Momma seemed to be rational. I’m sorry but Nicole must be a straight up idiot. First she gets all her friends killed because she has no clue what she’s getting into with the shifters and weres, then she has to go on the run basically abandoning her life, then has unprotected sex with a stranger, then gets her mom kidnapped. After all that trauma and drama she’s just going to moved to Bon Temps to be with Sam, a guy she BARELY knows? Oh and now she’s pregnant too. Way to go!

I don’t know what Eric’s plan is but since he drank from Adilyn I’m assuming it’s along the lines of going to vamp camp and rescuing the vampires. I want to say he was out of line with Bill but I’m pretty sure I’m only saying that because I’m a Bill fan for life. Besides I like when Eric gets mad and I liked his jab at Sookie too. I just wanted him and Bill to team up and save the day together. Oh and kick Warlow’s ass too. But I’ll settle for him eating Sarah Newlin and knocking around Steve a bit. Steve needs to feel pain for being such a wussy traitor but Sarah needs something way worse. It’d be perfect if she was turned into a vampire but I certainly don’t want Eric to be her Maker.

At least the old Alcide is back. Now to make up for his jerkiness in the past episodes he should be shirtless for the rest of the season.

Written by Brittany Feazell.

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