We begin seeing Britney Spears in front of a vanity, applying lip gloss and being silly with her makeup people. She talks about how she loves being in the South.

the x factor

Demi  Lovatois laying down on a chaise lounge while makeup is applied, and she lets us know she’s actually on tour right now.

L.A. Reid and Simon Cowell are both excited for new talent. (Simon has pointy nipples. Mother of pearl, what is that about? Through his shirt!)

So, they drive through the small country and Britney wonders where everyone is. They are surprised that the entire town is empty because everyone in Greensboro is auditioning. Simon takes the time to get some food at a local diner. Britney is immediately excited about the coconut cream pie he brought.

Willie Jones – X Factor – He and his family drove 14 hours to get here, so he doesn’t want to “lose.” We know he’s a very respectable Southern gentleman because he uses the prefix of Miss or Mr. in front of all names. Demi loves his style and dubs it very Fresh Prince of Bel Air. And he surprises people when he’s got a deep country crooners voice. Even I didn’t see that coming (what, I’m psychic!) L.A. thinks he sounds like Willie Jones and calls him amazing.Big yes from all the judges an the crowd is uplifted by the joy of the moment. But you know they’re also ready to boo someone viciously.

Kalvin Mc…something – He’s old, he is wearing a black cowboy hat, and he can’t enunciate his words quite well enough to be understood by the judges. He forgot what he was going to sing. So the music starts. He seems drunk. He’s got energy… the way you’d find someone at a karaoke bar after a few drinks. “I’m scared I’m related to you or something,” Spears says. They all affect country accents as they turn him down (except Simon.)

Julia Bullock – Simon wanted to know why her band members are with her, but didn’t audition with her. There was some drama there. Christian, her ex boyfriend (with a dangling cross earring and freckles) says Julia broke up their band. Even though Julia is dressed like a hipster punk, the X Factor producers play a Taylor Swift song. Anyway. She sings “Pumped Up Kicks” and has an … AMAZING voice.  Cut to: an Image of her ex boyfriend looking murderous. The judges find it easy to all vote her through.

During the commercial break I had to google to see if anyone else thinks Demi Lovato and Hayden Panettiere are similar. Look past the hair colors, and focus on their face shape, body shapes… they’re both short… even their attitudes (upbeat, take charge) are the same. But the most I can find is some fashion show down’s… eh.

… Uh… So there’s Dragon, Fire, Freeze and Gold …Pepsi has these four new flavors and even the judges are tasted them. Lovato likes dragon while Cowell prefers freeze. I just wnat to know how anyone can prefer Pepsi to Coke?! Anyway, one of those flavors will be real, blah blah. I like my Soda Stream! Diet Coke and Coke Zero are amazing.

Krysten Colon X Factor – She sang an Adele song, which we know Simon Cowell hates. And I don’t think he ever explained why.  Krysten decided to tell her to come back when she’s less nervous with a different song. She said she could sing a Gospel song, but he didn’t like that. So, she’s coming back.

Jeffrey – He sang “Hallelujah” and said it was the first time his son, Talon, would ever hear him sing. He had talent for sure. Why has he not sung for his son before? Britney Spears teared up.  Simon said it was one of the most brilliant auditions he’s ever heard. I really wish I’d caught his full name! The show flashes them on the screen too fast! Four yes’ for him Jeffrey!

The auditorium got hit by lightening and it was leaking water inside as it stormed. Dun dun dun.

Krysten Colon – She was back and ready to get four yes’. She wasn’t awful, but I did not see something worth saving here. Britney Spears face during this was funny – all scrunched up and confused. Even the crowd knew this wasn’t a good voice. The some of the lights went out. “I was about to blow it,” she said. Ugh. L.A. said she’d unfortunately already blown it. She got four no’s. She cursed as she left, all pissed. Diva. She started throwing a fit with her family, and her bad attitude was crazy. She even started throwing an open water bottle at the camera men and she had a chair she was using to shield herself from the camera before running out into the rain. Dramatic! She seems horrible. Way to be immortalized on national TV as a jerkface. Way to go!

Commercials worth noting that aired during The X Factor 2012 (Live Blog)

  • Nicki Minaj and her Pepsi commercial
  • ID Gum – a funny commercial about bald eagles with hair
  • Trouble with the Curve (Amy Adams is so great, but am I the only one who is really sour about Clint Eastwood right now?)
  • Xtra Factor App  with Verizon and Simon Cowell, which will air about 5 more times in this hours
  • New Girl promo – 5 days until more Zooey Deschanel! Nick/Jess yes! Anyone interested in the new Fox show Ben and Kate? The Mindy Project. I say we give them all a go. The shows are short, it’s like speed dating!
  • Lana Del Ray promoting H&M
  • Samsung Galaxy x3 mocking Apple’s iPhone5 – “The next big thing is already here.”
  • Glee tonight with Britney 2.0! Heather Morris is amazing, I’m excited!

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Follow TV Critic Jessica Rae on Twitter @ThisJessicaRae.