On The World According to Paris (Hilton) there are just too many OMG “did that really just happen” moments that I feel compelled to share with you guys.

  • As Paris and her boyfriend, Cy, sit in the back of a car he feels her up and says, “Your lady bumps are big.” Then he asks her if she wants to have sex to burn calories. Sorry, Cy, she’s busy downloading UberTwitter.
  • Paris admits she’s addicted to Twitter. And she knows her fans rely on her every update. “Give up Twitter? Are you nuts? If I stopped tweeting people might think I got kidnapped or something.”
  • Brooke’s Mom insists that Brooke not wear ponytails in case the paparazzi get a shot of her like that.
  • Paris and Cy have a conversation where he asks her where he see’s them going in the future and she says she see’s them being together for a lon time. Aww, right? Then he throws in the dig that he agrees, unless she cheats on him or something. I may not adore Paris, but she deserves better than this jerk.

More after the jump!

  • Who knew that Paris would pick such a “gem” to “costar” on her reality show? Brooke Mueller  is in and out of rehab, so she is constantly saying things like “you don’t understand addiction!” C’mon Oxygen. I didn’t sign up to watch at C-list Celebrity Rehab.
  • A fly gets in a condiment bowl, and Paris feels bad and lifts him out with a french fry. Because there’s goop on his eyes, she thinks he needs medical treatment and splashes her drink on him. It’s kind of sweet. But when Paris’ voiceover wishes the fly a happy 48 more hours of its life, I confirm my suspicion that these are all scripted voiceover line. How would Paris know how long a fly lives?
  • Brooke mentions how she’s missing Charlie (Sheen, her ex-husband) and drops his name several times. Annoying and pathetic.
  • Here’s a scenario for you: Paris wants Cy to come to a party with her, he decides to go to another. Cy keeps texting Paris’ assistant instead of her. Paris finally arrives at the other party and Cy tells her to stay away from him and that he’s going to call security to throw her out.  Luckily she slaps him before getting up to leave.

If you watched this episode, tell me what moment you thought was the most “OMG” worthy.