Did you get teary when Lexi died in season one of The Vampire Diaries, but could hardly muster a shrug for Rose in “The Descent”? You’re not alone in that. SB of the TV blog Off-Color TV (@OffColorTV) joined The Vampire Diaries Dialogue Panel Project to talk about the most recent TVD episode, titled, “The Descent.” And descend we did, as the show took a pause to examine things like the Alice Cullen wig that offended our eyes, how “The Descent” promo killed the magical Caroline/Tyler moment, why Caroline would be killed off before Bonnie, what we’d call Elena if she was turned into a vampire, and why the high school could have burned to the ground and no one would have noticed.
The Vampire Diaries “The Descent” Review Via a Candid Conversation:
SB (9:05:31 PM):Are you ready for this? 🙂
Jessica Rae (9:06:01 PM):Try and stop me. But oooh, you lack the proper vampire powers to do so. Burn!
Jessica Rae (9:06:10 PM):Speaking of burning. Rose’s back was sizzlin’.
SB (9:07:33 PM):Yeah, Rose’s back was gross. I kind of died when Elena stuck her fingers in it. Smart, though.
Jessica Rae (9:07:47 PM):Very, very smart. One of the only smart things Elena did tonight.
SB (9:08:29 PM):Yes, as always, I was mentally screaming at her what to do long before she did it. I mean, there are curtains EVERYWHERE! How long does it take to think of it?
SB (9:09:25 PM):Are you a Rose fan?
Jessica Rae (9:09:30 PM):She needs to step it up, f’real. Screaming at the TV for the heroine to stop being dumb shouldn’t happen when it comes to Elena, not at this point.
Jessica Rae (9:09:50 PM):I’m not. And I don’t think many people were. Were you a fan?
SB (9:10:04 PM):I agree. Also, why do Stefan and Damon even bother with cell phones? They would do better/quicker with carrier pigeons.
SB (9:10:21 PM):You would think, being in love with a damsel such as they are, that they could at least set that bitch to vibrate.
SB (9:10:27 PM):No, definitely not a Rose fan.
Jessica Rae (9:10:32 PM):Yea. There was a lot of time where Damon was unaccountable. Maybe getting a pedicure?
SB (9:10:35 PM):I just don’t think she added anything to the show really.
Jessica Rae (9:10:42 PM):They named an ENTIRE episode after Rose.
SB (9:10:43 PM):Oh, he would.
SB (9:10:51 PM):What a waste of a perfectly good title.
Jessica Rae (9:11:04 PM):And I’m sure they wanted her death to have real meaning and impact. But guess what, people didn’t care about her at all! So the impact was very diluted.
Jessica Rae (9:11:36 PM):And it’s not just because I like the idea of a Damon/Elena reality. I just didn’t like Rose. I WISH they had given us a character for Damon that I would have liked just a smidge.
SB (9:11:56 PM):You know, I thought it was Lauren Cohan, and I stand by my hate of her terrible fake British accent (although it was better this time), but I actually think her character just contributed NOTHING to the story/mythology/universe.
Jessica Rae (9:12:40 PM):I attribute a lot of it to the haircut she had. And people might laugh and say I’m being silly, but we all know that looks and aesthetics matter. I’m sure the show didn’t want two brunettes, so they tried to mix things up. But it was wrong.
SB (9:12:42 PM):Yeah … I mean, look at Lexi–she pops in for one episode and fandom still goes apeshit bananas over her. She had meaning and presence. I was jonesing for Rose to get the stake by the end of her first episode.
Jessica Rae (9:12:52 PM):Exactly. Lexi was a great character!
SB (9:12:56 PM):Well, it was a bad Alice Cullen wig, let’s get serious.
Jessica Rae (9:13:02 PM):Ahahahaha. So true.
SB (9:13:14 PM):And where there’s so much fandom overlap, you really don’t want to draw that comparison.
SB (9:13:54 PM):For real, though–can you think of one contribution that she made to our TVD lives?
Jessica Rae (9:14:36 PM):She got Damon to admit he misses being human. But that’s …it’s a big thing. But it’s also so small compared to how much screen time she had.
Jessica Rae (9:15:21 PM):Stefan was stone cold. “Bitch is gonna die? Okay, well I gotta go obsess about Elena and do the opposite of what she asks.”
SB (9:15:28 PM):But I kind of feel like we already knew that. Someone else could’ve gotten him to admit it eventually, and you’re SO right about the screen time. There are so many stories going on in TVD that screen time is a precious commodity and I felt like she just took away from people I’d rather see.
SB (9:15:45 PM):Yeah, and Stefan says Damon is heartless.
Jessica Rae (9:15:47 PM):Well, yea. I think the intent was to show that Damon could care about someone other than Elena. And to show that he is regularly having sex and still a stud.
Jessica Rae (9:15:58 PM):Yea, where was Bonnie? POOF.
SB (9:16:01 PM):Although I guess it wasn’t heartless so much as just … UBER tunnel vision.
Jessica Rae (9:16:17 PM):Well, yea. I’m sure it was only that he cared more about Elena than Rose.
SB (9:16:19 PM):Well, if that was the goal, then FAIL. I NEVER thought he cared about Rose.
SB (9:16:48 PM):All I got from her was that when you start to die, you go to the set of The Princess Bride to finish your last few minutes with an eternal stud
SB (9:16:56 PM):Oh, Bonnie. Sigh.
Jessica Rae (9:17:04 PM):See, I believed it. But I just didn’t want him to. I didn’t like Rose enough for her to be “worthy.” I’d rather have Damon like…I don’t know. Lexie would have been better. Or Bonnie or Jenna or anyone.
Jessica Rae (9:17:41 PM):Ahahha. Yea. Not a horrible way to die, although she might have rather not lived through a day of excruciating pain if she was going to be killed no matter what.
SB (9:17:43 PM):Rose always seemed to pitiful to me for Damon to really WANT. Like, he might care about her like when you find a wounded bird, but that’s about it.
SB (9:17:57 PM):She did keep begging for him to make it stop.
Jessica Rae (9:18:10 PM):Well, I don’t think anyone ever thought there was a cure.
SB (9:18:21 PM):Also, how about the random insight into Damon’s feelings on the AFTERafterlife?
SB (9:18:29 PM):No, not at all.
Jessica Rae (9:18:45 PM):Legend, and all. Legend is proving to be pretty reliable. Which is why it sucks that Caroline spilled secrets to Tyler.
Jessica Rae (9:18:59 PM):Where Damon said you can see anyone you want? I think he was just saying anything to shut her up and feel peaceful.
SB (9:19:35 PM):I don’t know, I thought he seemed a little sincere. Like he didn’t want to really get into it, but maybe he really thought it. Interesting!
Jessica Rae (9:20:09 PM):Maybe he took a course on philosphy at Harvard in the 50’s?
SB (9:20:25 PM):Hahahaha! Or read The Lovely Bones!
Jessica Rae (9:20:34 PM):Ha. Hopefully he didn’t bother with the movie.
Jessica Rae (9:21:01 PM):Did I miss this in the episode, or is the part from the teaser where Rose tells Elena “you can love them both” not in the actual episode?
SB (9:21:14 PM):I know I didn’t. And if Damon couldn’t be bothered to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I’ll be pissed if he watched that. Although I would understandingly forgive him, because … Marky Mark.
SB (9:21:26 PM):Yeah, I don’t think it was. Was it in the last episode?
Jessica Rae (9:21:49 PM):Hm. I don’t think it was. And I saw it in the promos for this episode. But it was cut!
Jessica Rae (9:21:56 PM):I mean, I’d have to rewatch to be sure.
SB (9:22:06 PM):I wonder if they swapped it out for “no one has ever loved me like you’re loved”
Jessica Rae (9:22:33 PM):Maybe. Interesting choice of line.
SB (9:23:17 PM):Are you a Supernatural watcher?
Jessica Rae (9:23:23 PM):I am indeed.
SB (9:24:10 PM):Okay, good. I thought this was Lauren Cohan’s best work on TVD, but I wish they’d brought more of her SPN badassery to the table, maybe in the form of moral ambiguity. Bela I could see Damon liking, much more so than Rose.
Jessica Rae (9:25:06 PM):It’s a bummer. I liked Bela more than Rose, for sure.
SB (9:25:28 PM):Me too. But … at least she’s gone now.
Jessica Rae (9:25:41 PM):And now we have a new love triangle brewing.
SB (9:25:45 PM):On the OTHER hand, though … I think Jules brings a lot to the table
Jessica Rae (9:26:08 PM):Jules is ruthless. Like, crazy psycho bitch ruthless.
SB (9:26:33 PM):Yeah, and with Katherine locked up, we sort of need that. And something needed to shake loose on the Tyler/Caroline story
Jessica Rae (9:26:50 PM):Do you think Jules killed the cop, or only knocked him out? I thought she killed him.
Jessica Rae (9:27:23 PM):I would have really enjoyed being surprised by Tyler and Caroline’s first kiss, rather than seeing it in the promo. There was no way to be shocked.
SB (9:27:31 PM):I can’t imagine she’d leave him alive
SB (9:27:41 PM):Me too, promo monkeys are the goddamn devil.
Jessica Rae (9:27:48 PM):Well, a “do-gooder” like Elena might have just knocked him out and run out of town or something.
SB (9:28:03 PM):Yeah, she’s no do-gooder.
Jessica Rae (9:28:26 PM):They haven’t said that werewolves lose a lot of their humanity, which makes me feel like Jules is really more evil than most vampires we’ve met.
SB (9:28:35 PM):That’s an excellent point.
SB (9:29:11 PM):Okay, I can’t handle it anymore. Can we please talk about Matt and Caroline?
Jessica Rae (9:29:20 PM):Hahaha. Sure. But I’m mostly just going to yawn!
SB (9:29:24 PM):WHAT!
Jessica Rae (9:29:42 PM):The football jacket on him just turns him into a jock template and my eyes glaze over.
SB (9:29:48 PM):Okay, my only real question is, did you get the feeling that if the bitchy cheerleader hadn’t interrupted that she was REALLY close to spilling the beans?
SB (9:30:12 PM):The jacket just looked way too new
Jessica Rae (9:30:19 PM):Well. No. I think she was going to say SOMETHING, but not the entire truth.
SB (9:30:33 PM):Have you read the books?
Jessica Rae (9:30:52 PM):I actually have just finished the first one!
Jessica Rae (9:31:00 PM):And one of the Stefan’s Diaries.
SB (9:31:13 PM):Oh, I haven’t checked out Stefan’s Diaries yet, any good?
Jessica Rae (9:32:00 PM):I actually have a review for the Origins (first book) on the site. I feel like it was interesting, but it even seems to contradict the TV show that it’s supposed to be supporting.
SB (9:32:29 PM):Man, the books are just BARELY source material at this point.
SB (9:32:37 PM):Which is good, because they get into some really weird territory.
Jessica Rae (9:32:53 PM):The original books are so different. I kind of wish the show was more like the books, though.
SB (9:33:03 PM):In what way?