You do NOT want Vicki Gunvalson to do PR for Bali. She thinks it could be anywhere, and said something to the effect of implying that  it looks similar enough to Hawaii that it might as well just be that.  To be fair? Apparently the trip to Bali is incredibly long. To be even more fair? Suck it up, Vicki. You ladies CHOOSE to go there, and you got to go in first/business class and use all the fancy lounges. Normal people GO IN COACH, EVEN. (I’m assuming.)

rhoc, real housewives of orange county, the real housewives of orange county, lizzie rovsek, tamra barney, danielle gregorio, shannon bedor, vicki gunvalson, heather dubrow

Photo: Bravo

What would you write to the Big Brother cast if you knew it would land in their inbox?

Dear Vicki Gunvalson,

For as much fun as you are (like, you could be a sorority President) I feel like you were definitely disrespecting the people and culture of Bali. (The shrimp vs moose/mouse convo, for instance.)

You wanted your assistant to check if your cell phone will work in Bali…but don’t you realize she’s just going to Google that?

I thought you were nuts to wear a dress on your 18 hour flight, but now I see that it was probably the best option. EXCEPT, why strapless?

Dear Lizzie Rovsek,

You are refreshing. I’m curious about if your eyebrows are naturally so ARCHED.  I understand why you wanted to talk to Shannon alone. But I do think you should have found another time than when you were both riding on an elephant. WHEN YOU ARE ON AN ELEPHANT IN BALI, YOU ENJOY THAT ELEPHANT RIDE. I’m no expert, but that’s just my gut feeling.

Wow,  you REALLY took things out on your husband after your bad birthday, huh? They showed that clip, and it was harsh. You told him you were going to leave him if he didn’t make the next one perfect. Not even in a jokey way… BUT, it sounds like you acknowledged that and apologized to taking your bad mood out on him. So, that’s good.)

Dear Tamra Barney,

I think you’ve given up on trying not to be a lying, manipulative train wreck. What’s sad is that they’ll never ask you to leave the show, because this is the kind of stuff the producers of the show love. But it’s terrible, and no one should be enabling you.

I do believe that you didn’t reach out to Lizzie on her birthday because you thought you might be able to attend. However, once you realized you weren’t going, I’m sure you could have called much earlier than you did.  You don’t seem to respect other people very much, or their feelings.

I think you and Vicki only get along because you both become sloppy drunks who love to misbehave and laugh together. This is the way teenagers bond, not adults.

Dear Danielle Gregorio,

Don’t tell anyone…but they HAVE to make you a regular! You are my favorite. And I truly do not think it’s just because you’re not on the show as much…so it’s possible I don’t know enough of you and your ‘bad sides.’ You seem really young and “real” the way Lizzie is, but I relate to you more. You have good energy.

Dear Shannon Beador,

You’re a good Mom to your kids. I feel like in those BRIEF moments where we see you with them, you seem really loving. And, if you knew me (you don’t, it’s okay) you’d know I am very, very on board for all of those supplements and energy medicine.  Homeopath love!

You’re kind of off your rocker, and it just makes me feel bad for you. I don’t think you’re evil or bad or anything like that, though.

Dear  Heather DuBrow,

I just have a lot of love for you.

I love your assistant, Natalie.

I love how you respected the Bali culture, and you always have a positive upbeat and mature attitude.

I loved this exchange.

Heather: So. Bali. Hot. Humid.”

Natalie: “It’s like raining.”

Heather: “Ponytail.”

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