The week in Paris was inspirational to the boss, but watch out for the carousel.
The Zoe-Bermans tripped the light fantastic through Paris with nary an argument. Of course not, because they got it out of the way at home. We had to listen once again to the futile protestations of Rog about an excessive number of suitcases (7) for one week of travel and horror of horrors, luggage overage charges.
Really? When his wife is packing six-figures in designer clothing, accessories and untold thousands more in jewelry?
As Rachel tweeted during the broadcast. “Baggage overage fees…never an excuse that works for me, sorry.” Then added this: “I stand by my packing methods…you just need #options!”
What have you done with Rachel Zoe? This is an imposter
As much as the typical episode is built on conflict, the third show of season five was like watching a family vacation video.
Oh look babe, it’s Chanel. Over there it’s Marc Jacob. Karl Lagerfeld is Everything.
Sister Pam was brought along so Skyler had family for the long days away from Mommy. Shockingly, Rachel left Sky Sky while attending the runway shows of designers she wants to be when she grows up.
Rog and Rach went from show to show and the only sign of a typical Paris Fashion Week experience was Zoe losing her voice.
There were no squabbles in the back of the black SUVs or over coffee in the morning at the hotel — except one about the never ending cycle of Rodger needing help getting dressed and questioning his stylist wife’s advice.
The good mood and vacation-like atmosphere even carried over to a business mini-crisis. Faced with being told that her European distributor didn’t have some of the most perfect pieces in her women’s collection she got Mandana whirling and twirling back in New York, but barely mentioned it again.
No endless BlackBerry messaging or phone calls obsessing about the troops back home. Do we like this Rachel?
A Joey sighting
For those with Joey Fatigue after the previous season, when he seemed to be readying himself to be his boss’ midwife when the time came, you’ve been spared so far.
When he made an appearance in episode three, it was brief and oh so very quiet. We watched only one scene of him applying the endless amounts of makeup to create the Rachel Zoe we know and his comments were very limited. He was not glued to the hip of his boss like an accessory in her outfit. It was almost too quiet.
One thing never changes and that’s the shoes
So far in season five we have seen Skyler and Rachel going to and from work or at one of her many appointments or locations.
In Paris, as the French music played in the background, we watched them at a park location where sky-high Louboutins were not the perfect accessory to chase a toddler.
Was there even a thought of an accommodation? Of course not because Rog backstopped her when Sky Sky kept eluding her. Wouldn’t a ride on a carousel be perfect about now?
Then there was the carousel
Remember the months-long season three vertigo problem? It’s left our heroine with a fear of motion that sent her into a panic as she realized a merry-go-round goes in circles. Who knew?
Watching Rachel try and steady herself was only made more ridiculous by the fact that the Louboutins wouldn’t cooperate. Just for her, the ride was stopped. What a life!
The magic is in the design
For the true fashion lovers among us, we got long looks at the new collections from Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton, Karl Lagerfeld for Chanel and of course Mr. Valentino.
We trailed along with her as she was given an exclusive and private viewing at a special part of the Louvre called the Le Musee des Arts Decoratifs. There we toured the retrospective of Van Cleef & Arpels called The Art of High Jewelry. Stunningly gorg. “I love tiaras,” she croaked.
Once again this season veered away from the usual Rachel hysteria. Instead of spending her week in Paris searching for the perfect dress for Anne Hathaway or Jennifer Garner, we got to enjoy the magic as she did.
After absorbing the beauty and artistry of these fashion icons Rachel got her dose of reality about her own collection. She’s new at this she realized, and she hasn’t focused her designs on who will actually wear them.
Guess what? Parisian and other European women will love the maxi skirts that are languishing in the states. Screw the American heathens who don’t appreciate her.
What’s a trip to Paris without some shopping?
For being such a good girl and refraining from whipping out the credit card for herself, and of course staying married to Rodger Berman forever, she got a gift. Rog flew in her pal William Banks-Blaney, the Vogue Vintage King just to shop for it.
The result was a Fernande Desgranges vintage handbag of such magnitude that when she unwrapped it she moaned, “No, no, no,” as if she were having a sexual experience. Rodger still knows the way to her G-spot
Back to life. Back to reality
Next week it’s back to So Cal. Rachel wants an apartment in N.Y. and Rodger wonders why that might be. Stay tuned.
Written by Paula Duffy. Talk back to her about The Rachel Zoe Project on Twitter (@jurisdiva). Catch up with her sports fanaticism at Examiner.com/sports-in-