Here are quotes from the premiere of The Mindy Project season 2. You KNOW you wanna read them all, because just hearing them once is never enough with a show like this. Thank you, Mindy Kaling and your The Mindy Project writers! (For writing witty, snappy quotes and also for casting James Franco for this episode.)

Mindy Kaling and James Franco in The Mindy Project season 2, episode 1. Photo: Greg Gayne for FOX.

Mindy Kaling and James Franco in The Mindy Project season 2, episode 1. Photo: Greg Gayne for FOX.

Well, I guess all my problems have been solved forever. – Mindy

We’re basically an old married couple, except we’re young and hot. – Mindy

I’ve been able to keep up with my life back home thanks to an old form of e-mail, called “mail.” – Mindy Lahiri quotes

Are you kidding me? I wanna vine this! – Mindy, on proposal

It wasn’t a detour. This is my path. – Casey

Quiet, quiet, quiet, I’ve been Snow Whiting you for an hour. – Morgan

Danny, this is sex therapy. We’re supposed to talk about sex. – Danny’s gf

It’s so hot that your’e gonna be my wife. But I have to warn you, in my family, there’s a lot of heart disease. I could die while we’re doing it. – Mindy

Missionaries are extremely adventures. – Danny

Danny went to Jersey, wherever that is. – Jeremy

The Mindy Project quotes compiled by Small Screen Scoop.

What’d you do, get drunk and try to sass a Buddha princess? – Danny

Okay, I would win every wet t-shirt contest I entered. Cause I have huge knockers. – Mindy Lahiri Quotes

I’ve never seen photos on your phone of anyone but you.

Ken Burns does it again. – Danny, the most boring person ever.

I was in the mood before, but then I had the chicken pot pie. – Danny, on sex

What, is this the Taliban, I can’t look at a man anymore? – Mindy to Danny, on oogling Paul Leotard

If I may say, you are like crazy bangable hot. I don’t understand why you’re a doctor. You should be a model. Anyone can be a Doctor. – Mindy

It doesn’t make any sense because I’m like a tiny dainty, bird. – Best Mindy Lahiri Quotes

Who’s going to explain Colbert to me? Is he even a real guy? – Danny

I’m not going to take advice from a woman who can’t even hold onto her non-essential organs. – Danny

You just pee’d on my wedding dress. – Mindy

That sounds like something people say. – Best Mindy Lahiri Quotes

I really thought that I’d changed. I just got really good at pretending to like things that I didn’t. – Mindy

Tom Hardy takes me as his sex prisoner? – Mindy

Pastors, we are paid in the afterlife. …We’ll be living in heaven heights. – Casey

You’re reading this fabulous piece on the fabulous TV blog, Small Screen Scoop.

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