Nothing says sexy, flirty, fun like …poop?

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They’re blocking the pretty New Zealand scenery! Photo: Instagram

‘The Bachelor’ 2014 Episode 6 FULL Recap of the New Zealand episode

New Zealand is the new destination. Juan Pablo describes it as a place with, “rivers and mountains.” HOW DESCRIPTIVE. But, let’s be real, the scenery is beautiful. Forget about the hobbits, we should all go live there. As usual, our Bachelor says that “New Zealand is the perfect place for (love.)” So far we’ve had about 4,820 different places that are the perfect places to fall in love. Apparently, everywhere but the USA. Thanks, ABC and Bachelor!

A girl whose name I forget says there’s something between her and Juan Pablo, but it’s been a slow boil. Uh, YEA. Jen? Kat? She’s got SOME name.

The hotel that the women are staying at has an infinity edge pool over a river. It’s gorgeous, and I’m jealous, and DAMN. Seriously, who’s going to New Zealand with me?

Clare finds the date card, and you know she wants that first date. But there are still girls who haven’t had any one-on-one dates! So, finally, Andi DOES get her first individual date. “Let’s heat things up,” is what the card says.

CLARE.IS.LIVID. “This would have been the perfect opportunity to work things out.” She also says that things might “just erupt in New Zealand.” I’m preparing for fireworks.

Click for the Juan Pablo and Andi Dorfman Date Recap!

Cassandra reminds us all that she’s got a son at home, and she doesn’t want to feel like she’s wasting her time. Resident house mother Renee (who has no chance with Juan Pablo, though she’s great), counsels her. When the women can’t talk about their feelings with Juan Pablo, they just find someone else to work through the emotions with…basically.

Click for the Juan Pablo Group Date Date Recap!

Something I appreciate about Renee is how she is able to put herself to the side when she talks to these other women. The other women, including Cassandra, do treat Renee like she’s got no shot and Juan Pablo is “theirs.” That’s insulting.

Click for the Juan Pablo and Clare Crawley Date Recap!

The Blake House in Taupo is the setting for the cocktail party prior to the rose ceremony. Juan Pablo walks over the grass, surveying the land and his voiceover talks about how he has to make decisions, blah blah.

He talks with Chris Harrison about how he goes on dates and thinks, “Hm, this could be.” But then he goes on ANOTHER date the next day and thinks the same thing. EYEROLL.

He says he has only a few weeks left, “And I know I have to THINK a LOT.” That’s not his strong suit. HEH. Cheap shot, yes.

Chelsie is sure that it’ll come down to Kat and her… and Kat is secretly sure that she’s the one who would get the rose of Chelsie. (I disagree, Chelsie is worlds better!) To get a bit of time with Juan Pablo, Chelsie shares her worries about being on the same page. She wants family, a husband, and kids on the way. Plus, real love that will last forever. “And I don’t want a guy that isn’t as excited about these things as I am. …I really see potential in this. And I wanna stick around. So not having any time to see if it’s still there…yea.” How can you not feel for this girl? She’s so…genuine. And, honestly, too good for Juan Pablo.

Kat gets some time, next. She shares that she’s been journaling this whole time. (Sure.) You could see that Juan Pablo doesn’t want to her her whole backstory about her Dad, and rejection and all this stuff.

ROSE CALL-OUT (Sharleen, Andi and Clare already have roses)

  • Nikki
  • Renee
  • Chelsie (YES)

So, who was eliminated on The Bachelor last night?

Kat. And she seems sad, for sure. But she also was never all that connected with Juan Pablo. So, it shouldn’t have been such a surprise.

Sharleen cries and says she isn’t sure she can see herself with Juan Pablo. She’ll give it another week (in Miami) but then she might leave. DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.

Something we didn’t see during the episode is that the group date had a “poop fight.”

Come back next to for more fresh TV recaps