Snooze. That’s how I feel about The Bachelor 2013 with Sean Lowe. The women are not crazy enough, the unusual dates have lost their punch, and Sean Lowe himself is just too… nice. Still, I’m going to recap what you need to know about this episode.

The biggest thing that happened in this episode is that Tierra pretended to fall down the stairs. Paramedics come, but she insists on not going to the hospital. And that’s why people are pretty sure this was a fake fall. If it was a real one, Tierra would have been wanting to milk this accident after she knew she wasn’t hurt and didn’t have to sue the show for having such tricky stairs. And really, wouldn’t the producers insist she go to the hospital anyway?

During a group date, volleyball is played. Or I should say there was an attempt to play the game which resulted in kicking, slapping, and jiggling breasts. …And you thought this series was only for straight ladies. Go alert the straight men that there is plenty for them in this scintillating series! There’s boobs.

Sean and Lesley broke the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest kiss. Coming it at 3 minutes at 16 seconds, the pair do break the recorder. And I wanted a certificate of my own for having to see the entire duration of this awkward kiss. That’s right, no fancy edits here! And after a minute, the pair were just pressing their lips together and praying for the end.

Kacie B. was sent home. In large part because she decided to tell Sean that Amanda was blah blah blah, she didn’t like Amanda and Sean needed to know how crazy she was. Sean no longer wanted to be a gentleman and keep her around. But he did go out of his way to send her home in a decent way.

Taryn and Kristy were sent home. Boo. Hoo.

Do you think Tierra faked her fall? Do you think Kacie ever stood a chance? Do you think this season is the most boring one yet?

“The Bachelor” airs Mondays at 8 p.m. EST on ABC.



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