Cheers to the possibility of finding love. The Bachelor had its 2013 premiere on ABC tonight with Sean Lowe.

Sean Lowe Quotes

“He has a lot to say about love…

I wanna be rich in love.”

“I’m only gonna get engaged once.”

“I’m about to embark upon the most amazing journey ever.”

Arie Luyendyk Jr. Kissing Tutorial 101

Sean’s friend from The Bachelorette dropped by to share a beer and talk about their time with Emily Maynard. Trying to infuse some humor into the situation, they talked about how to deliver the line of “will you accept this rose,” breaking up, and how to kiss a woman. Despite my cold dead heart, I found myself smiling as the two made light of the situation. For those wanting kissing advice, Arie suggests using eye contact and using very little tongue. But forget these pleasantries, has anyone considered whether Arie is pissed that he’s not The Bachelor? That’s a question I wish they’d covered in this segment.

25 Women Introduce Themselves

Notably, there were more women of color in this group than there usually are.

Sarah Herron has one arm, and is passionate about her job as a graphic designer. One word describing her: Genuine.

Ashley P. (Ashley Palenkas) is a hair stylist who is seriously into the book series of Fifty Shades of Grey. “I totally hope Sean rips my clothes off and spanks me,” she says. One word to describe her vibe: Ridiculous. And she pulled out a blue tie from her dress when she met him.

Lesley Murphy is a modern Southern belle who works at a political consulting firm in D.C. Her vibe: Prissy.

Kristy Kaminski is a Ford model who loves being in the spotlight and is used to girls being jealous of her. One word to describe her vibe: Egomaniac.

tierra licausi

AshLee F. (AshLee Frazier)  is a professional organizer (this is a job?!) who was adopted at age six. Her vibe: Sweet, possibly needy.

Jackie Parr applied some lipstick (sans mirror) and kissed his cheek to put her mark on him before anyone else.

Selma Alameri pulled a tissue out of her cleavage to wipe the lipstick off his cheek.

Kelly Dutton from Tennessee sang to him. “I really hope love grows, but we won’t find out unless you give me a rose.”

Yoga teacher Katie Levans went barefoot with her gown.

Taryn Renee Daniels seemed sweet and told him she hadn’t seen the previous seasons. (And I believe her.) This was a very adorable meet-cute. There was no gimmick, they were just cute together. I believe that’s called chemistry?

Robyn Howard did some gymnastic flips in her sparkling gown when she met Sean.

Lacey Latka said a lot of people called her lace, so she brought a heart of lace for him to have in his pocket. She might be sweet but she looked like a Barbie.

Paige Vigil is a jumbotron operator, which is fascinating. And oh yea, she was on Bachelor Pad 3.

Tierra LiCausi has crazy eyes with an open heart tattoo on he finger. (Does Jane Seymour of the Open Hearts Collection know about this?) Sean excused himself while dramatic music played. I was hoping he was going to have her kicked out, but instead he broke the rules by giving her a rose right away. What’s amazing is that he painted a target on her back right away. Me-row.

Kristy Kaminski was “bringing him the best from the Midwest” but judging by her outfit and hair, it was from circa 1995.

Journalist Lauren Marchetti looks eerily like Sarah Chalke. And she came with a message from her Italian father about how he’d break Sean’s legs if he broke her heart.

Lindsay Yenter is a substitute teacher who thought it would be a good idea to show up in a wedding dress, and even a veil. Serious question: Where did she get this wedding gown? It looked fairly expensive. Just sayin’.

The final woman Sean greeted arrived in a separate limo. It was Kacie B. (Kacie Boguskie)  from Ben Flajnik’s season. As one girl so astutely mentioned, it was her parents who were the dealbreaker when Ben eliminated Kacie.

The Cocktail Party – Scandal!

Desiree Hartsock (bridal stylist with a brother who taught her football) got a rose right away after the cocktail party.

It turned out, Sean was handing out roses during the entire evening. Well, he wasn’t going to get away doing something like that without the girls dissecting this. There was much chatter. It was a huge scandal, in fact. Tierra kept trying to uphold her status as getting the first impression rose.

Wedding dress girl seemed tipsy as she implored Sean to dance with her, then hung all over him and demanded kisses.

Ashley (the Christian Grey lover) was definitely drunk. Which was as pathetic as it was entertaining.

The Rose Ceremony

When the ceremony started, several girls already had roses. Taryn was the second to last woman to get a rose, which made me happy. Girlfriend seems normal! The last rose went to Lindsay of the wedding dress ensemble. Bad move, Sean.

Who didn’t get a rose? Well, this list included Paige from Bachelor Pad (can’t blame ya, Sean), Ashley P. (50 Shades), tearful Kelly (cruise ship entertainer), and Ashley H. (who could hardly walk in her blue dress but seemed cool).

Keep your eyes on: Desiree Hartsock, Catherine Giudici, AshLee Frazier, Lindsay Yenter

Who did you think was the craziest? And  (this will be harder) who did you think was pretty normal and cool?



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