We’re waiting for the Bachelor whose idea of a great date is watching a DVD marathon of Friday Night Lights, and having gourmet pizza delivered. In the meantime, let’s see Ben Flajnik take someone repelling into a crater!

the bachelor ben

Ben wonders: Do I want real love, or do I want a shallow sexy girl? Hm.

The Bachelor Recap

Kacie B. is Suffering

The first part of The Bachelor 2012 Week 4 shows how sensitive Kacie B. is about having to share Ben. We’re not mocking her, either. It’s a normal human reaction to be jealous. She seems only a smiiiidge pathetic when she’s glad just to see him for a second when he’s there to pick up another girl. Reality shows are horrible, ladies. Get off of them and save yourselves and your sweet souls! In unrelated Kacie B. news: her natural wavy hair is gorgeous.

“It’s very hard to share Ben with everyone else because Ben and I share a connection,” she says later on the group date.

Ben and Rachel go on a One-On-One Date

They soar off in a helicopter, and go hang out in nature becuase Ben is Mr. Mountain. Unfortunately, their conversation stalls as they sit in awkward silence. They both realize this is a bad date, but they keep trying. It only goes worse. You can only fill the silence by remarking how “awesome” and “beautiful” everything is. Ben even tries pointing out a beaver dam!

Ben feels he can’t get Rachel to open up to him. Her sense of humor does not mesh with Ben’s. And when he tries to get serious, she has her guard up. It’s a very slow, boring and paaaaainful experience to watch. He tried, but she was a stubborn companion (despite saying to the camera that she was falling for him.)

Somehow, he decides his gut is telling him he should give Rachel a rose. Personally, we don’t see them as a couple. But we do like Courtney.

The First Group Date Includes Courtney and they Go Fly Fishing

Emily is glad that Courtney Robertson will be on a group date, so Ben can see how she reacts to the other girls.

The girls wear boots over skinny jeans, and tuck daisies in their hair. Ben rides a horse through a river. It’s almost like a hippie compound. Almost. Until he says the day is going to be “Rad.”

Lindzi says, “I love a mad in a saddle.” It’s unclear if she’s more excited to see and ride a horse, or to see Ben. (It’s a joke.)

So they ride. Girls say things like how it’s an “experience of a lifetime” and how it’s “straight up out of a movie.” After that they say, “there are no words.” No, you just spent five minutes saying cliches, you cannot now claim there’s no words.

After they ride, they put on waders and go fly fishing. Courtney pulls (sorry, “steals”) him away because she thinks fishing is boring. They stay upstream and the rest of the girls leave the river to get some drinks. Finally, Lindzi comes up to Courtney and Ben. It’s hard to blame Courtney for trying to make something happen, because otherwise the date is boring. It’s a little less boring when Courtney catches a fish. Ben kisses it, then she almost does. Hearing the backlash of how the other girls feel about Courtney catching a fish. The nerve!

At the mini cocktail party after the group date, Casey S gets a bit of time. Then Nicki (who is terrified by how much she feels) interrupts. She drops a bombshell on Ben about how her Boss had just died before she came. Ben lost a friend two days before he came there. It’s pretty sad stuff.

Just as Nicki is getting a kiss, Samantha interrupts to complain about how she doesn’t have a ring on her finger, and she has crazy feelings for him and she demands a one-on-one date. He tells Samantha that he’s observed that she’s highly emotional in the group settings. Whoa. Turns out being aggressive doesn’t work for Samantha. Ben says he doesn’t see them going much further, and he doesn’t think she’s taking it seriously enough. She’s a throw away! “I’m thinking we should probably end this. Right now.” She sobers up fast. The women are shocked to say goodbye to her, but secretly probably glad. Samantha’s lasting impression is of a pushy, overly emotional girl who wasn’t very mature. Sucks for you, Samantha.

Kacie B. gets some alone time. Then Courtney does. She gets all manipulative. It’s creepy. She dangles a carrot then pulls it away. She blames the other girls for ruining things for her. It seems like she’s gonna pull an ultimatum of “pick me now or I’m leaving!” He decides to give her a rose. To the camera he says he was going to give the rose to someone else (the camera lingers on Kacie) but after their conversation he has to re-assure Courtney.

Jennifer of the RED Hair Gets a One-on-One Date

They went “trespassing” near a crater. Then they decide to repel down into it. Ben is thinking this will bond them, maybe because their gear slightly resembles bondage.

They eat. They kiss. It rains. He gives her a rose. They go to a Clay Walker concert. (Who? He sounds good, but seriously who?) But it does not seem like they’re going to have a major future. Their chemistry is tame and a little bit forced.

The Cocktail Party

Courtney and Jennifer talk because they both have roses and therefore don’t want to claw each other’s eyes out. Meanwhile, Emily talks about how she wants to warn Ben about Courtney being fake. Then she does. She lets him know that it’s Courtney. But he doesn’t have a huge reaction, and tells her to chill. Emily squirms and seems annoyed that he’s not listening to her advice. She worries this will now backfire.

Casey S. hears Emily talk about Courtney, and rats her out. Emily says Courtney has a “bitch, cold, rude demeanor” who lacks social etiquette. She also thinks she can’t trust Ben’s judgement.

The women are divided and they swear and cry and it’s dramatic. Seems like a good time for…

A Rose Ceremony

There were eight roses to hand out and three women already had roses (Courtney, Jennifer and Rachel.) Call out: Lindzi, Amy (forgot she existed), Nicki, Kacie B (sounds like he is saying KGB every time), Elyse (ew),  Blakeley (groan), Casey S. (yea, right), and surprisingly… Emily. Courtney looks pissed. And Monica is tearing up. Aw. In the limo, she tries to keep from crying. She says, “I want what I didn’t get here. I want a marriage. I want kids. I want it to last. I want it to be right. And I’m skeptical that it even exists anymore.”

Back inside, Ben lets the girls know they’re going to Puerto Rico. There’s eleven women remaining.

Next week: Emily can’t stop telling Ben about how shallow Courtney is. Courtney goes skinny dipping with Ben. Whaaaat.