One could easily guess that Brad Womack‘s numbers weren’t testing highly so the paparazzi force who spurned the hearts of two women on TV (and millions sitting at home) spent a great deal of his first episode of The Bachelor: Part Deux explaining himself.

Eventually they delved into the lives of the different women who will be vying for Brad Womack’s heart. There’s all sorts, including one (Madison) with a vampire fetish. (When someone wears vampire fangs all the time do we call that a fetish or a possible mental instability? I’m serious here!)

There was a surprise on the show last night, too: Jenni Croft and Deanna Pappas (both of whom seemed to be wearing engagement rings) came around to see Brad. (BRAD WOMACK, THIS IS YOUR LIFE, DUN DUN DUN) PR-wise, this was the best way to get fans on board with this season of The Bachelor. Viewers had to see that he’s been more-or-less forgiven by both ladies. Can we believe Womack when he says he has the most sincere intentions to do the show again? That’s anyone’s guess. But my sense is that he believes himself.

Forty minutes into the show,  it was finally time to have Brad meet the 30 women who would be the contestants on the show. Limo by limo, they arrived. Oh, what excitement.

Chantal O (executive assistant) was first. She watched his season, and she decided to slap him – “not from me, but for every woman in America.” Brad said he loved her fire, and thanked her. Yup. He did.

Next up was Kimberly, who had also watched his season.  And it seems most girls that began to follow all knew him. Despite this, most were ready to flirt without reservation. “I saw your season,” was the most uttered phrase during this segment aside from, “I have to tell you…” And, fool that he is, Womack was already telling women, “I love you” (though light-heartedly.) The ladies were more than ready to forgive him! “Second time’s a charm,” was told to him. Another woman said, “You happen to be the perfect guy for me.” Talk about coming on strong.

Eventually we met a woman who didn’t know Brad, named Madison, who wears vampire fangs. (I’m sure you remember me typing about them earlier, becuase how does a detail like that escape your mind?!) He called her mysterious, but didn’t mention the fangs at all. Did he somehow miss them?! She’s off her rocker.

The entire second limo of gals seemed to be full women who knew that Brad had been on a prior season, but hadn’t actually watched it.

But of those who did know him, many had conditions for Brad. He had to get on one knee and say “Will You Marry Me” and even pinky swear he wouldn’t break hearts.

One girl made Brad come to the car to walk her over. Another girl wore ruby red stripper heels and talked about how she wanted him to meet her family at home. Gimmicks, and gimmicks galore.

Brad complimented a lot of dresses. Are most guys really that into dresses?

When asked “Is your wife in there?” Brad said, “absolutely.” Oh brother.

The first impression rose went to Ashley S.  She was picked for being sweet and honest, saying that she would be his friend no matter what. But in the previews for the upcoming weeks it looks like she becomes one of the more annoying women.

As the cuts of the night began, the women were either angry, sad, or both. And thus begins a new season of The Bachelor. (Apparently not sponsored by Lorena Bobbit.)

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