Turns out that Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor) was deprived of one of our greatest Earthly teasures, by his own Mother. (Who wanted him to eat healthy.)

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For someone so smart, Ted Mosby can sure be dumb.

When faced with a “someone must eat all of this baacon so we have bacon grease” challenge, Mosby stepped up to the plate. But he was unsure if he could succeed…after all…

“I don’t even know if I’ll like bacon.”

But then he had a bite.

“I’ve seen the face of God.”

And bacon? Really good, turns out. In fact, Ted doesn’t need a wife because…

“I’ve finally found the one, Marshall, and her name is bacon.”

And Ted’s been missing out his whole life…

“This bacon would go great on one of my Mom’s LT sandwiches!”

So, now his Mother will pay…

“May you rot in the bacon-less hell that I’ve been living in my entire life.”

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