Read what RLY happened at Tamra Barney’s Wedding

We’ve gotta gush about the blushing pinks and the swooping florals and that amazing (unlikely!) British accent on the preacher!

Even for people who don’t know who Tamra Barney is, they have to admit that this wedding looks gorgeous. Photo: Bravo

Tamra Barney Wedding Recap

Twitter Time

During the show, Bravo had “#Tamra” on the screen for twitter uses to trend. Not #Tamraswedding or #TamraandEddie just…her name. She’s like Madonna. Because…we ARE (so many of us) invested in this woman, so we don’t need more information than to say we’re all talking about Tamra. And, weird or crazy as that is, I understand it.

The Amazing Emotional Hulk! (Brotherly Love)

Previously on Tamra’s OC wedding, her family went Batslamming crazy at her, and showed all angles of their bad sides. My opinion is that they haven’t all gotten this much screen time before (or at all) and wanted to present their entire life story and platform for TV, so they brought up all sorts of unnecessary drama before Tamra’s wedding. Luckily, it didn’t stay like that.

At the dinner prior to the wedding day, Tam Tam’s brother apologized and it was a sweet, important moment to have after all that mess that was flung around. Of course, there was still moonshine. What kind of fancy wedding cna you HAVE without a communal moonshine mason jar? (I very much doubt there was an effort to be hipster with that, sorry.) Like Heather, I felt pretty appalled by that. I’m also very interested to find out where Tamra had her rehearsal dinner.

She wore a gorgeous white dress with perfect peach and gold jewelry. Even her hair, being swept to the side was really beautiful on her.

Waxing with your Best Gays

Naturally, before the wedding, Tamra had a Brazilian waxing session with each of her two best gays holding up her legs. As you do. God, I’m due to schedule another one this week. I just can’t get enough of hot wax being poured down on my lady business before a stranger with bad breath then mercilessly rip out all of my hair. It’s such a relaxing practice, so you can see why so many of us Western women do it. Namaste.

“If something goes wrong today, the bitch is going to be back.” – Tamra

Listen, this bitch couldn’t have anything go wrong on her wedding. Of course, she forgot to text and make sure her wedding dresses were going to arrive on time. Or even close to on time. Luckily, they were.

Everything was gorgeous and satin-y and silky and luxurious. Let’s just admit that for those of us watching, we were jealous of how pretty everything looked.

I loved this dancing dress. Ole! Photo: Bravo

Tamra’s Wedding DressES

The big surprise for most of us was that Tamra didn’t just have that one dress we saw her get on RHOC, she had three dresses. Excessive? Yes. Necessary for an OC wedding? Uh, you betcha.

The first dress was kind of a … sparkly mermaid bodice that flared out in tulle… and the entire thing was shimmering and kind of a blush color.

She did not hold a bouquet, but had a long, fairytale-esque floral corsage that hung down from her wrist. And even though it reminded me of a fairytale, it was also a very contemporary way for a bride to have a bouquet. I think I liked it, though. This was  a cuff created by Diann Valentine. Hmm, okay.

The second dress was sexy and embroidered with lace. It was easier to move in, that’s for sure. I didn’t love it so much, though. But I did love…

Oh, the third dress. The party dress. It was feathery and flouncy, not to mention short. It was perfect for dancing and swirling and having a good time.

These were all Mark Zunino dresses, btdubs.

Diann Valentine

We need to talk about this wedding planner.  At first I thought she wasn’t doing much, then I thought, hey, she did. So… I’m torn.

Pro: She took care of a lot without Tamra needing to do much, so much so that tons of this was a total surprise to Tamra. I think she had a good sense of details.

Con: Who couldn’t create something gorgeous and covered with diamonds if you had a fairly endless budget to shop with?

Con: Diann didn’t help at all take control of the wedding dress details and how they were being delivered.

Pro: I like those orchid cuff’s that Diann designs for her brides. It’s a smart thing to do for business, and also solves something for brides. Very smart, very pretty.

Okay, Diann, you can be my David Tutera. (JK, I would always pick David, sorry!)

Details! (Aka: LET ME GUSH, I LIKE WEDDINGS)

Tamra’s best man wore an amazing sparkly orchid brooch. The flowers were pink and then white on the outside, creating an amazing ombre effect.

Heather Dubrow was glowing in her pink dress, and looked so elegant. The necklace was perfect for that neckline. That’s the bridesmaid dress that stood out to me.

I was also very much a fan of Gretchen Rossi’s mustard yellow dress, and Lydia McLaughlin’s pink floral headband.

Of COURSE their preacher person was British. Because that’s the stylish way that it sounds all serious and fancy. I especially liked how the phrase, “good pleasure” was said. And, actually, I loved what this woman said about how important it was to exchange these vows, where you step over a threshold and how important it then becomes to be able to say, “this is my husband/wife.” I like that it was rephrased in a way that made it seem so clearly a new concept that was still connected to tradition.

Tamra and Eddie had their first dance “alone” for it to be special. But …let’s keep in mind that they were surrounded by tons of camera men. So…get real.

Hold on there, Gretchen Rossi, was is this new talking head outfit where you have this amazing necklace?!!??! I WANT IT. DETAILS NOW.

“I don’t want to do that in front of everybody.” – Eddie Judge

No, not a sex thing. He’d probably be more likely to than do that… crying. To that, Eddie was firmly against. And that made me sad. Dude, it’s your wedding! Your bride will only be MORE honored if you are moved to tears. Let them flow!

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