If there is a lesson to be learned from this week’s episode of Sons of Anarchy, it is that “the life” is hard to leave, whether or not you want to.

And that seems especially true for these two men. It’s like a drug – the high is very high, but that crashing low can kill you. (Don’t worry – they’re both still alive. I meant metaphorically kill you. For now, anyway.)

For the past couple seasons, Jax’s (Charlie Hunnam) story arc has had a common through line – get out of the club. As he continued to get closer to Tara (Maggie Siff) and have his to sons, the life seemed like a greater danger and unnecessary evil in his life. But this episode showed a bit of a turn. And it’s a turn that went severely in the opposite direction of his wife.

Poor Tara. I’ll admit, she hasn’t always been my favorite character, but watching her watch that surgery, it was almost jarring how out of place it seemed. And my reaction in itself was just devastating for the character. Tara’s gone from an amazing neo-natal surgeon to Old Lady. Not exactly a life upgrade. And while it’s not the Old Lady stuff that bothers her, it’s how that’s taken away who she is. This whole thing with Otto (Kurt Sutter) isn’t helping because now she could be tried for accessory to murder. It’s dark days for Tara.

Yet, I feel like she’s in a bit of denial. The lawyer is being helpful – what’s her deal by the way? I wanted to punch Jax when he yelled at her. I wish we got more back story on the lawyer. Yes – the show already has like 20 characters to keep track of, and I want one more. Sue me. (Ha.) Anyway, Tara basically ignores that she may be on trial for murder and accepts that job in Oregon, without getting Jax’s approval, by the way. Of course, that may not happen and not just because of Jax and the imminent charges against her, but because of the mysterious man, Lee Toric (Donal Logue), that beat up Otto and is now following her. I don’t know who he is, but I’m going to assume he is the dead nurse’s brother because he is in real life.

Even if everything works out for Tara as far as Otto is concerned, I don’t think it will for Jax. While life is tough, per usual – what with being kidnapped by the Cartel and all – he seems to be enjoying himself. His crazy plan to cut the Irish out of the gun deal and get rid of the RICO charges all while setting up a new deal for Romeo (Danny Trejo) totally worked. Although he looked like he might throw up when that conversation was over. But when Nero’s (Jimmy Smits) old crew tried to kill Jax, Tig (Kim Coates), Chibs (Tommy Flanagan) and Happy (David Labrava) the look of sheer joy and excitement on Jax’s face – well that surely didn’t say “I want out.” It said, as Happy put it, “I’m rapturous.”

Though what he wants may be inconsequential as the proverbial crap hits the fan repeatedly. Gemma’s life is in shambles as Nero spirals out of control both as he goes back to his more violent ways and finds out that Gemma (Katey Sagal), for reasons he doesn’t quite understand, is back with Clay (Ron Perlman). But she’s still kissing Nero and telling him she loves him (aw). Then there is Juice (Theo Rossi) letting Clay get rid of the incriminating papers- though it wasn’t really his fault that time. And even though Jax told Chibs and Bobby (Mark Boone Junior) everything that happened with Clay, from JT to Piney to Tara, it seems Jax may be losing his crew.

Bobby is going to Clay to try to make things right. Tig seems unhappy no matter who is in charge. It’s getting out of control. And the club’s “impartial perspective” – Unser (Dayton Callie) – is getting worse by the minute as far as his cancer is concerned. There seems to be little that can be done to fix everything that is going wrong in SAMCRO. And based on past outcomes – I doubt “fixed” is something we will see.

So what will we see? Who is going to be sitting at the head of the table when season 5 ends? And who ever it is – who will be standing with them? Plus, because it’s Sutter – who will the Grim Reaper take next? I gotta say, it seems a bit on the nose to have a grim reaper as their symbol doesn’t it?


Only two episodes left. I’m scared.

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photo courtesy of FX