It’s time to live blog SNL as Kristen Wiig hosts. Of course, I just learned that ABC has canceled Happy Endings, which is a disgrace, and I may never be happy again. WELL, let’s move along.

Kristen Wiig and Fred Armisen. Photo: Dana Edelson/NBC

Kristen Wiig and Fred Armisen. Photo: Dana Edelson/NBC

Benghazi / Jodi Arias Opener

“Do you know how hard it was to book her, especially this week?”

Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

As #SNL trends on Twitter, so does Hocus Pocus, which can only mean it’s playing on ABC Family. I love that movie. But who doesn’t?

Vampire Weekend is the musical guest.

Kristen Wiig monologue 2013

Oh, hey, I’ve been seeing that white eyelet dress everywhere. I think that specific one on Wiig is from Anne Taylor Loft.

“I can’t believe I used to wear my wig that way.”

Musical monologue time. “Cause even though I’ve been away a while now, I still know camera 1 from 2.” (Lyrics – I’m So Excited.) “Oh look it’s Keenan, and Bobby. And look it’s Will Ferell.”

Oh Jason Sudeikis, you can’t be more adorable. How is his finger snapping so hot?!

“I’m so excited, and I know, I know, I know, I know where stuff is!”

Maya Rudolph! An alpaca! Racist jokes! Lorne Michaels! Gilly. (Ugh, no one likes her!)

 1-800-Flowers (Pro Flowers being mocked based on the logo)

“There are never nuts in Eggs Benedict.”

Showing us the reasons our Mother’s drive us crazy.

“Representative!” (My Mom does that.)

“Hey, what’s the latest with that LeAnn Rimes girl?” (It’s always sad news.)

And they can never find their debit or credit cards, that is so true. Oh, Mother’s.

All in all this was…okay, but not “LOL” funny. I never felt the need to type LOL. Not once!

The Californians

Yes! I love this bit. Except I would have rather had her and Jason doing the annoying couple skit.

“Why you’d have to die, Karina? That was a jerk move!”

I love that disguise for “Brad, the male gardener.” Big blonde mustache! Neve Campbell shout-out! Tea Leoni. This is going on TOO LONG. End it now! Wiig keeps breaking. MAYA RUDOLPH! The jaw sliding kils me. She makes the best faces. Ladies, this is in high-def, you are champions!

Aw Nuts, Mom’s a Ghost

Korean Water Ghost

Hayley and Max on the Disney Channel

I like the idea of doing a Disney Channel spoof, but The Ring is like, ten years old.

I did laugh when we saw the Mom under the covers, telling them it was time for bed. Wiig is good as a self-aware ghost Mom. And not everyone can say that!

Next week: Ben Affleck and Kanye West

PBA

“Is it me or do the bubbles smell bad tonight?”

“It’s hot enough to melt colby jack cheese.”

Dooneese just creeps me out with her baby arms.

“Can I do your that?”

Okay, her catching the bubbles was funny, though.

Weekend Update

Seth Meyers, ily.

Purses with hidden handgun pockets. “Because if there’s one thing women are good at, it’s retrieving something quickly from their purse.” OKAY, YES.

American Idol Judge Idol

Anthony Crispino for secondhand news. A peanut buttercup got arrested. (Reese Witherspoon.) Cinnabon Jovi!

Bang / Would not bang joke. I like it.

Cops is moving from Fox to Spike TV. I didn’t even know that. Ha.

Tom Hanks vs Tom Hanks from the Polar Express.

Garth and Kat time. It was funny when Wiig put her hands on her hips after Armisen did.

Gilly the Target lady

I’ve never seen Madagascar but I do love Dreamworks.

A middle-aged turtle face with a hair helmet!

“Are you a hoarder? Sometimes I think I am.” “I don’t know you, but I have a feeling that you are.”

“Kohls, who are you? Donald Trump?”

Acupuncture

Squirting blood.

“Yo, what’s up blood.”

Ahahaha, making him drink his own blood to get it back in him.

Ancient, spiritual masking tape.

Eddy’s Date

Cecily Strong is really good.

“You’re like a female Urkel.”

Hot Jams

“Oh heck to the l yea!”

Classy Sexy Elegnance!

Dear Craig T. Nelson

This is my catchphrase, spread it

You’re on Blast

I really liked this, because I watch enough of the Real Housewife shows to get it.

“So if you’re a gay man looking to bring something you can make fun of at a party, this is for you.”

And that’s a wrap

Who the F— is Kristen Wiig shirt is cool, but why does she have to be smoking?

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