For the finale of ‘Shahs of Sunset’ there was one unlikely star – a giant inflatable pool swan.

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‘Shahs of Sunset’ Season 3 , Episode 14 “Return to the Homeland Part 2″

The “chunk factor”

We start with Mike and Reza working out, because Reza has a big birthday coming up soon. And he’s not happy with his weight…

“I’m realizing the chunk factor is on a level ten.” – Reza

Though Mike and Reza have had this huge fight about business, they need to make up before the season ends! I mean, before the birthday in Palm Springs. As they talked openly with each other, Mike said that Reza didn’t help him with the business at all. “I’m like a bitter ex-girlfriend with you. …I have this little bit of hatred for you.”

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Reza explains that he was insulted when Mike was expecting half of the money based on a big house sell that Reza had made. He didn’t want to invest in helping someone who was lazy or “pay (their) dues.”

Finally, Mike admitted he didn’t have the “patience” for residential real estate. He’s going back to commercial. Thank God. If only they’d had this talk earlier they could have resolved this months ago. SIGH. But, at least they’re friends again now.

“We are gonna divorce like two people that have five kids that are babies, and we still have to raise these babies.” – Reza

MJ and Vida shouldn’t go to spa’s together

Speaking of birthdays, it’s MJ’s birthday! She wanted something low key, so she went with her Mother (Vida) for a spa day.

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During their “spa-ing,” MJ admits how much she loved the kids she met in Turkey. But Vida isn’t open to hearing about this. She calls MJ “naive.” Where is Asa to help soothe the tensions!? Even bratty MJ doesn’t deserve this from her Mother.

While the spa technicians work, MJ tells her Mom that she’s, “the meanest woman in the world.” As MJ leaves, crying, her Mother acts baffled.

“I feel so stupid for trying to tell my Mom about this.” – MJ

Kids at 40

Next, we see Jessica and Mike out to dinner. We see the sign, but the font is so weird that I couldn’t tell you what the restaurant actually is. (Cena?)

Jessica complains that Mike takes all of his stress from work and brings it home. He interjects that she should leave him alone for an hour when he gets home. … I can’t even. What a NICE future husband.

But, it’s time for Jessica to talk about why it’s time to think about children, because Mike is 35. “You’re old, you’re getting old!”

“You make me seem like I’m in a wheelchair! We will for sure, be married before I’m 40.” – Mike

“Five years? You’re trippin’.” – Jessica

“I’m too good of a girl…I have my head  on my shoulders, I’m hot, I’m a nurse, I’m from a good family, I love you, I’m converting, there’s no way in the world 5 years would be okay with me.” – Jessica

Our “good girl” once more reiterates her point, “I don’t want to have kids with a 40-year-old.” But Mike tells us that the wedding will be so expensive and he doesn’t have a good enough business right now to afford it. (Although, wouldn’t his parents pay for a lot?)

GG needs fresh eggs

MJ accompanies GG to have her (GG’s) eggs frozen.

Right away, MJ realizes she went to high school with this doctor. It’s uncomfortable.

The doctor freaks them out by saying women’s eggs decline by 25… yikes. He’s so reassuring.

MJ suggests she might have a dating profile, and I want someone to find it.

GG is gung-ho about preserving her eggs. And the doctor works on convincing MJ to do the same. But LISTEN, when I saw Kim Kardashian talk about this on ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians,’ Kim realized what an intense procedure it would be, and didn’t do it. AND IF A KARDASHIAN EVEN THINKS IT’S CRAZY….

But who cares, MJ decides to freeze her eggs, too. WE ARE ALL FREEZING OUR EGGS. Like uh… the Austin Powers of baby eggs. Sure.

Happy Birthday, Reza!

The entire gang (minus Lily) go off to party because Reza is turning 40, YA’LL!

Reza loves the estate they’re staying at so much that he exclaims, “I feel like a Kennedy.”

AND IT’S TIME FOR A SURPRISE. Reza is going to propose to Adam. Which is dangerous, because if you ever get divorced you’ll hate your birthday/anniversary forever! Does no one PLAN, anymore?

Everyone laughs as Mike and Jessica talk about kids and I realize that Mike STILL hasn’t actually proposed to her, yet. AND SHE’S CONVERTING AND EVERYTHING ALREADY. She’s READY to start her LIFE with him! Man, Mike must not really want to marry her… she should leave him. I’m telling you. They are not meant to be. She will save herself pain if she leaves now. Man oh man.

As they go swimming, there’s a giant inflatable swan AND I WANT IT.  Where do I GET one of those? (Omg, Walmart. Seriously. And it’s only $40.)

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In the mix, Reza takes off MJ’s bikini top and throws it in the tree. Asa assures us that MJ likes to have her boobs free…so I guess it’s okay. We get a lot of sideboob.

And when this was thrown, the metal clasp hit GG’s forehead. So, she maeks a big deal out of it. And this leads to GG spanking MJ. Because, why not?

Since Mike and Jessica went to play “chess,” the group goes to track them down. Mike’s naked. Everyone is gonna get naked. It’s gonna be… yea. ANYWAY.

Mike says MJ loves his “dool.” (And chocolate croissants.)

I love the idea of having a ton of friends going crazy in a rented mansion. WHO WANTS TO GO IN ON THIS WITH ME?

But, wait, GG is throwing a plate. Because Mike is saying she is the one who went into the room first. But Asa tells GG to use the “hook” move to calm down. It’s easy to do, and it DID work to calm her down. So, let’s all do it. HOOK. HOOK.

The gang all uses a slip-N-slide, and it genuinely looks fun.

“To the 4-0.”

As the big dinner arrives, Reza is super nervous about his proposal.

MJ congratulations Reza on acting 40 now that he finally is 40.

Reza excuses himself, then returns with a present for Adam. No one gets down on a knee, though. And Adam has to open the box himself. The women coo, and I’m wondering if Adam realized it was a marriage proposal… “I love you, will you marry me?” asks Reza, and Adam looks shocked (see, it was unclear!) but then they kiss and laugh and everyone is cheering and clapping. IT’S A LOVE STORY.

(And secretly, Jessica is like WHAT WHAT WHAT, WHERE IS MY RING, MIKE? When will Mike and Jessica be engaged?)

“If anyone has ever earned anything in this world, Adam has definitely earned an engagement ring.” – Reza

Lilly and Coconut – Season 5?

A lonely Lilly and Coconut finally arrive Poor Lilly has to order take-out all by herself.  Lilly tells the camera that she wishes she wouldn’t hold “grudges as big as my hair.” See, Lilly has everything but friends. “I regret pulling away from the group.”

Will Lilly return for ‘Shahs of Sunset’ season 5? VERY DOUBTFUL.

Shahs of Sunset Season 4 Finale Notes

Everyone is happy.

Reza is 40. He is engaged to Adam.  He has an “uber gay” cake to eat, to boot.

“Rover found the bone.” – Reza

GG admits she’s still a work in progress, but is growing.

Asa calls her year, “transformative” and that she’s no longer sad about being a refugee.

Mike has learned that real friendship involves being vulnerable.

Presumably, MJ still wants kids. We don’t have those text recaps on the screen like they used to do for the Real Housewives shows.

Thanks for reading!

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