Listen up, Gosling. You need to stop prancing around, pretending you’re so suave, lifting Al Roker into the sky, and feeding your dog apples. You’re not so great. You’re no better than a stack of lousy pancakes.

Steve Carell‘s Movie Poster Contract is very clear about one thing: his head has to be the biggest one on the movie poster. It’s a simple request, really.

For the Crazy, Stupid, Love movie poster, the marketing team royally screwed it up by making everyone’s head the same size. How could they be so stupid? Well, they were viewing the movie as an ensemble. Want to know what Steve Carell thinks about that? “Ensemble? Ensemble? Little Miss Sunshine was a great ensemble. But you have to know who the star is!”

When presented with another movie poster option that shows his head the same size as Ryan Gosling’s he erupts, “No, no, no! I get the biggest head. I’m sorry. But what part of this don’t you understand?” Watch the entire Funny or Die skit so you can understand the significance of the line, “I beat the pancakes, I can beat Ryan Gosling!” (Video after jump.)

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