Read this Ringer review to see how it leads us to talking about Chia Obama!

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Ringer “That’s What You Get for Trying to Kill Me” Review

As I write this, the news is talking about how an iphone exploded on a plane. There were some phone issues in this episode of Ringer. When Malcolm stole a phone, he said he would have to wait until the next morning to get a charger. But he’s in New York City, the city that – if I’m ever to believe a movie in my life – doesn’t sleep. You mean to tell me there’s no dark alley where you can buy a phone charger?

I had also suspected that Charlie would be found guilty easily if his prints were on Gemma’s phone, but that he would be too smart to have left prints. Turns out, nope! Sloppy kidnapping, man.

As far as the Gemma story goes. They kept her alive just to show her a couple more times. She literally couldn’t die. And a former cop apparently had such bad aim that when he tried to shoot her in the trunk of a car, he missed. Fish in a barrel, anyone? Sadly for Tara Summers, she had to die in a pretty unflattering dress. the only nice thing was in learning that Sibohan didn’t actually want Gemma dead. It would have been nice if she’d sent her abroad to have fancy brunches in Paris with her instead of leaving her tied up in the trunk of a car.

Bridget continued to stop making an effort to pretend to be Siobhan. She finally had sex with her fake husband. Apparently Bridget and Siobhan have the exact same tiny body quirks, body fat, and style of making love. So hubby noticed nothing wrong.

Amber Benson! For… a moment. Less than a moment. When we saw her she was already dead. But I’m a loyal Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan and decided to read way too much into the quote “Tell her I miss her.” Sigh.

Juliet (Zooey Deutch) has gone a bit crazy, like Alicia Silverstone in the 90’s movie “The Crush.” She told her friend she was raped by Mr. Carpenter (Jason Dohring), and I think he probably didn’t. She’s a bit crazy and might be lying for attention. That said, I really couldn’t tell you I’m certain one way or the other. But it’s sad that the night Juliet may have been raped, her parents aren’t there for her at all.

In the end, Siobhan tells that one dude that he got her pregnant. Because he found the pregnancy test that she saved. You pee on those things. Unless you’re a crazy Mom who is putting it in a scrapbook, why would you just leave that hanging around? I suppose maybe Siobhan planted it there, but she could have also just told him she was pregnant. Since she is, it’s easy to prove.

While the show continues to make Bridget seem like a saint, I find her incredibly selfish. All of her lies are getting other people hurt. Malcolm almost died for her.

Chia Pet has never stopped being inventive. They technically have one product, but they have managed to build it into so much more. Right now they’re promoting Obama Chia. But Ringer does the opposite. They have the premise for a cool show and then fill it with tired dialogue like “how do I know I can trust you” – “you don’t, but what choice do you have?” It doesn’t feel dramatic. It feels cheesy and deflated.

Bonus points for Bridget and Fake Husband showing up at Penn Station with the ransom in black trench coats. Very inconspicuous!

Grade: D- (lowest yet!)

Ringer airs on The CW and stars Sarah Michelle Gellar.