Lauren Conrad found fame on Laguna Beach and The Hills.

Lauren Conrad found fame on Laguna Beach and The Hills.

Wannabe reality TV stars rejoice. We have a place for you. No, it isn’t a part on The Hills – it’s even better. It’s the NYRTVS! Where they breed a generation of people to be inauthentic idiots! Real people aren’t real enough, so now you can get trained to be what the TVs want.

Welcome to the The New York Reality TV School (NYRTVS). You read that sentence right, so don’t worry about going back and trying to make sense of it. Please don’t assume anything about this school will make sense. This is showbiz, after all!

With the airwaves clogged with so much Reality TV, it was only a matter of time before someone found a way to make more money off of the process. Now, get schooled to be the REAL you – or at least, the real you that’ll make it forward on the reality TV show of your choice. Or hell, try out for them all. Just make sure you have your $300.00 ready for a five week seminar. Want one-on-one training? That’ll cost you almost $200/day. But it’s worth it, right? Because this is your dream!

Getting in to NYRTVS is easy, but getting out of the Reality TV addiction might be harder. Hey – let’s make a rehab aimed just for that! We can charge loads to have our professionals help these poor saps.

I can just hearit now… “Mom, I don’t need SAT scores. I’m not going to college – I’m going to Reality TV school! I don’t want to be the next Meryl Streep, I wanna be the next Lauren Conrad!”

Read more recent articles:
« | »