Who had the best quotes from the Jersey Shore last night?

“I’m suffering, dude.” – Vinny Guadagnino

Listen. I’m sure he was, it’s just kind of funny the way he said it there.

“Jiminiy Cricket, I didn’t know this was gonna be like a cook festival.” – Snooki

Don’t most nights turn into a “cook festival”, Snooks? I’m not even sure if I’m trying to be dirty or mocking her phrasing.

“Jionni’s like, ‘don’t drink so much you blackout.’ …he just needs to respect how I am!” – Snooki

So, she’s a total alcoholic.

“If I can get through this, you can get through this.” – Sammi Giancola to Vinny

So many thoughts on this quote. First off, it’s funny because they approach being on a reality show about partying like it was a war. But you do have to respect how much drama Sammi’s been through. I know, I never used to like her but I’m changing my mind on that.

“I burnt my whole face off.” – Pauly D

Ahem. >>> Why JERSEY SHORE Fears 30 ROCK and Tina Fey

“Our GTL endurance is not up.” – Mike “The Situation”

Kinda love that phrase, don’t you?

“Want me to find you a girl?” – Jenni

It’s a rare occasion I don’t love JWoww, but the idea of ordering a girl to have sex with as easily as having a friend pick you up some fast food is really sickening to me.

“I wanna get it in, get her out, call the cabs. They know the deal.” – Pauly D

They may know the deal, but that sounds really awful. Maybe it was karma that Pauly had his chain “stolen” after he kicked the girl out of the house barefoot at 4 a.m.