If you watched Parks and Recreation “The Fight” (and why wouldn’t you?) then you had the ability to learn plenty of life lessons. If you haven’t watched yet, or didn’t pick up on the lessons, I have them for you here.
Done-zo: The Done-zo list is integral to any friendship. It means … listen, you know what it means. Augh. You and I are done-zo.
Weird Number: If you’re pretending to be out of the country, make sure to call from a weird number. You have to keep up the lie!
Guerrilla Marketing: Even ordinary schmoe’s can be a part of the problem, I mean, solution.
Pretty: As in, “I’m pretty – bored.” Just pause a long time before finishing your sentence, and then hilarity ensues.
Mayor: The Mayor of Whoreville? That’s Jan! Sorry, Jan.
Just once? Well, guess what. That’s already too many times.
Role-playing: It makes everything sexy. So do it.
Million dollar idea: Guest list for department stores. Oh, and a tuxedo line for babies.
Best retort: Snort and then say, “Classic.”
Best meeting: Write a rhyme about their name and they’ll remember you. But maybe for the wrong reasons.
Bonus: Snitches get stitches.
Bonus 2: The three most important things, in order are Waffles, Friends, & Work.