Once Upon a Time season 2 episode 2 live recap below! Don’t miss it! Tangents on Kristen Dunst’s career, cobbling, and Cordelia Chase inside!

once upon a time rumplestiltskin

“We must investigate… the line!” – Grumpy

I love how united the dwarves are! And they are on a mission…. And part of that mission may or may not include not getting vaporized. Technically they did succeed… little fist pump?

“What if we found a turtle and sort of nudged it over first.” – Sneezy, who must not ever try to abuse a turtle!

once upon a time regina

Opening title clue: Trees and vines! They’re gonna getcha!

Eion Bailey… is not totally dead! Well, I mean his character isn’t dead. Because blinking counts. And we could totally make unseemly jokes about wood. But I won’t. You can. In your head. Maybe comment with them so I can laugh in secret…moving on!

Dr. Hopper is going to provide counseling, that’s so nice. I wish I could get free therapy all of the time. From actual professionals. Not just people at the Grocery store who think that me buying minced garlic means I’m lazy.

“Right now the only thing keeping you alive is that Henry wishes it.” – Charming, laying down the law.

But hey – isn’t it odd that Regina calls him “Charming”, and didn’t even sound sarcastic about it? I forget his name and I want someone to use it, dammit! James, David… not even IMDB knows for sure!

Regina’s Mother was controlling, so Regina is controlling. See, I don’t even need Dr. Hopper to teach me psychology! It comes to me naturally, as though I were a wizened… oh,  you mean YOU got that, too? Okay.

“Power is freedom.” – Regina’s Mom, Cora

“Are the nuns still nuns, or can they you know, still date?” – Dr. Whale, who is a player!

Oooh, crossing the border means you lose your memory. I bet some people might want to cross the town limits and give up their fairytale life on purpose for the dramz of it all. Who will make that CHOICE? Certainly not Rumpelstiltskin.

Right now, Regina’s magic is about as reliable as the cable company.

once upon a time dwarves

Y’know… even Regina’s topiaries look twisted and evil. If I had toparies (fake or real) they’d be sweet, round or something! I’ve talked myself out of buying mini toparies for my bathroom counter on many occasion. I struggle so so many decisions, guys! I mean, will they look sweet or tacky?

“Oh, right, the conscience thing.” – Regina, on what Archie is all about.

Archie is such a stand up… gu- grasshopper! He cares about Regina to help her, even when she’s such a villain. Raphael Sbarge exudes such a warmth of spirit. Great casting. Did I mention I’m interviewing him later this month as an exclusive for Small Screen Scoop?

Young Snow White’s dress is so pretty! Sigh. I want pretty dresses like that.

Regina is being so mean to little Snow!  …In her mind. But if we were all in trouble for the things our minds thought… listen, let’s just be glad no one can hear my internal voiceovers when I go to a mall.

Dad’s: always oblivious!

Oooh, did Rumpelstiltskin turn Cora into a crazy witch?

“Please” no longer works for Rumpel.

Every woman, at some point, hates being told she looks like her Mother. Especially if someone is implying that you’re a cold-hearted psycho.

Summoning a scary man to your bedroom chambers? Not so smart. (Am I just imagining the creepy sexual undertones of what he’s saying?)

Can we pause to think about how cool it would be … to be Henry? He’s suddenly around all these real life fairytale characters who know who they are… so… it’s awesome.

“Gramps!” – Henry

Why doesn’t Regina want everyone to know the Enchanted Forest still exists?

Why won’t Charming tell Rumple who he’s following?

Is Rumple leaving town? Well, I guess he wanted to but… only as himself!

I would not mind being stuck in Maine, they have lobsters!

Regina likes magical aromatherapy to clear her pores.

Aw, it’s Sebastian Stan!

Granny is ruthless! Well, protective! Protective and badass.

Red Riding Hood is such a hero. A silent leader. Meghan Ory does a great job.

Henry sacrifices himself and no one says anything? Not even a feeble “no!”? Where is Emma…oh yea, that other world!

“Don’t fight it honey. You’ll get a splinter.” – Regina

“The way you treated me wasn’t an accident.” – Henry

Henry can do magic, too? In his blood or just because anyone can learn it? I’d like to learn!

History is repeating. Which means Henry could grow up to be a jerk! I totally know how the series finale of OUAT will go… Henry will be all old and bitter and some young scamp will have to help him be nicer.

Regina’s wedding gown is pretty, but … uh, there’s such a wide berth with the hips. I know that was the style… I just reject that. I don’t even think the Marie Antoinette costume designers were that specific about the gowns they had Kristen Dunst wearing… And where Is Dunst these days, anyway? (And did you ever see that movie “All Good Things” with Ryan Gosling and her? Because it was SO creepy/good!) Oh, duh, she’s in Bachelorette. And she has several other movies coming out… okay, good to know the Dunst is still at it. Go Torrance Shipman, go!

This looking glass portal thing is just like that Mary Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen Halloween Movie! DOUBLE TROUBLE!

“David and the Prince. I am both. Just like you. You are both. The town is both. We are both.” – Charming, on how they’re all bipolar and should rejoice.

“Hell, live in a shoe if you want. Or eat frozen burritos and write software.” – Charming, describing my ideal life, almost.

Ruby aka Red Riding Hood is so proud of Charming. But, I kind of feel like it’s not fair that she couldn’t just rise up and lead the troops herself. Or is it because he’s the Prince and thusly that’s how the law works?

“How did it feel to use magic?” – Rumplestilstin
“Doesn’t matter, I’ll never use it again.” – Regina
“Why not?”
“Because I loved it.”
“You’ve discovered who you are.” – Once Upon a Time Quotes for “We Are Both”

Humanizing Regina is tough to do, because she’s still a murderer! I’ll never forget you, Graham!

“I don’t know how to love very well.” – Regina, which is such a strong quote I might high five the monitor.

“If you hold onto someone too hard, that doesn’t make them love you.” – Regina, on how to improperly do a Swedish massage

“I want to redeem myself.” – Regina

“I can see I just launched you on a heroic quest.” – Regina

Coming soon: one stop cobbling! For all your cobbling needs. Of which, I assume, you have many. Lord knowsI do.

“Come on boys, it’s off to work we go.” – Grumpy, because ABC and Disney are tight and they can do stuff like that.

Pinocchio!… is not there! Sigh. WAIT. He was wooden, who moved him?!

This show is a lot about parents and their children being separated. Emma/Snow/Charming. Emma/Henry. Regina/Henry. Cora/Regina. Mad Hatter/Daughter. Gepetto/Pinocchio. (Spellecheck wants me to turn “Gepetto” into “ghetto.” Har!)

I wanted to say how Charming is too much of an optimist, but then we had that shot with him and Henry drinking their Coke’s at the same time… so sweet. Very Americana… Norman Rockwell…ish.

Mulan must know who Snow White IS, doesn’t it count that she’s a Queen or something? I kind of feel my inner Cordelia Chase coming out to protest!

Uh oh, Cora!

Snow and Emma are prisoners, welp… that sucks. I can’t wait to see more of this next week on OUAT! Don’t forget to join me here next week for a live recap!

Once Upon a Time “We Are Both” Recap | Once Upon a Time “We Are Both” Review | Once Upon a Time Season 2 | OUAT

Photo Credit: ABC via JACK ROWAND

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Follow TV Critic Jessica Rae on Twitter @ThisJessicaRae.