Once Upon a Time “The Evil Queen” Recap” – live blog!

Fair warning, I spend a fair amount of time talking about the outfits in this episode!

Granny’s Diner on Once Upon a Time. Photo: ABC

Here is my Once Upon a Time recap of “The Evil Queen.”

This is a live blog recap the entire episode!

Ah, yes. The Dark One lives! Hook not happy. Hook sad. You’re welcome, Colin O’Donoghue fans. I’m sure you live for that scene.

Ethan Embry reminds me of Tom Hanks. Which is odd, because I never wanted Tom Hanks but I’ve often lusted after Embry in Can’t Hardly Wait… I’m all conflicted!

Okay, I have no clue what the image was in the opening clip. A watertower?

In fairytale land, The Evil Queen is rocking a FIERCE outfit of luxe velvet on bordeaux and black. There’s massive cleav, and a hat. Oh, and it’s got a coat/cape thing with train. And that choker is pretty impressive. Yea, Lady Gaga and Beyonce would fight over this outfit for sure. She looks decadent, and evil. Her Project Runway collection would be called “Evil Decadence.” (Tim Gunn, do you approve?)

Series created by Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis. This episode was written by Jane Espenson and Christine Boylan.

I really like that they found a creative way to have Lana Parrilla act through this episode, although magic makes her look different to the villagers.

Oh, Henry. So trusting of your Adopted Mother. But even HE can’t deal with a plan that involves a bunch of people dying.

Ethan Embry. He was once my big 90’s crush. Well, him and Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

Oooh, they usd the word “Effigy.”

That awkward moment where no one knows you’re the queen, so you get arrested. Yup.

Why can’t Regina remember that she’s glamored and doesn’t look like herself? Her memory is that bad? You know, it’s pretty dumb to have magic turn you into someone else if who you are is already such a powerful person. What if Rumpelstiltskin decided to never turn her back? Which would be smart of him, wouldn’t it?

Alliances. Betrayal. What is this, Survivor: Storybrooke?

Hook misses Cora. Aw.

Let’s take a moment to wonder if we’ll ever see Aurora and Mulan again before the Once Upon a Time finale. I Was rather fond of Prince Philip, myself.

#EvilRegal is the hashtag to use tonight. USE IT WISELY. And often.

You know you wanna read just one more! Once Upon a Time “Lacey” Review” – live blog!

Who is Peter Pan? Henry or Baelfire?

Emma Swan: Presents facts for why Tamara is not one to be trusted.
Mary Margaret says: We should trust her anyway!

Sometimes it’s better to be a skeptical pessimist, see?

Henry is aging fast. He’s getting older. And taller. And his voice will change soon, and omg, will they WALT (Lost) him?!

We call that a Heroic Reveal, folks. (Snow White.)

Regina misses her Mom so much she’ll even demand a scrap of cowhide. Leather wristlets aren’t even very cute unless they have thin strands and little charms. Okay?!

I think … will it be a dragon? Well…it’s big…it’s tall…it’s angry… blobby… it’s a Power Rangers looking villain! Oh, or Iron Man!

Okay. We get it. Maleficent is not dead. But she IS angry. And I suspect the smell can’t be that great.

Where do you think Regina got “Wilma” from? Is it because she’s dressed in rags like Wilma Flintstone?

Operation Cobra is now Operation Tiger. No. Praying Mantis? Well, I’m sure the bright yellow beetle won’t give them away.

Stakeouts probably are fun. People should have first dates while on stakeouts. There’s excitement, adventure, food… everything!

“You are a smart kid” says no one to Henry, but Emma, ever.

Heh! “Oh, hell no. I taught her that.” – Neal

Does it really take so little for the Evil Queen to change her mind about Snow White?

“There’s no good in that woman. None.” – Snow White

Snow vs. the Queen. Snow had her smarts and bow. The Queen has magic – but no “Queenly” power to order guards to do things. It’s easier when you can have someone else do your dirty work…

Hook vs. Regina: You double crossed me? I’m double crossing YOU, right now!

“THE BEAAAAANZ.” It isn’t funny, but I’m laughing.

“Nobody steals from a dwarf.”

So, the Queen spends a day in their shoes and has no empathy. “Snow, you’re mad at me for murdering a town? How dare you! I’m going to kill even more people now!” (Get some therapy!)

No more magic for you, bad girl. Science wins. Wah.

OMG NEVERLAND.

Okay, hop on over to the Revenge live blog now!