It feels a little early to celebrate Thanksgiving (or am I just pretending that this holiday isn’t looming?), but New Girl did it in style on Fox last night. (Does that accidentally sound a little dirty?)

This episode was written by creator Elizabeth Meriwether and Justin Long guest starred as a guy who is so similar to Jess that it’s eerie. Thus, begging the eternal question – do you want to date yourself?

Here are shout-out’s to my favorite bits of the episode:

  • Jess (Zooey Deschanel) in the turkey costume. Girls need to stop trying to be sexy for halloween. Just be adorable like Jess was as a turkey!
  • Paul (Justin Long) in a gourd costume. Thank you for that, powers that be.
  • “Dudesgiving” – Schmidt via e-mails
  • “Is the turkey named Paul?” No. “Hanks Giving.”
  • Schmidt’s kitchen control issues were such a blast. Partly because I share his same control enthusiasm. Wink. “And don’t say to me, ‘You’re using way too much tarragon.’ Cause I’m not.” “You will never hear me say that.” Tarragon is weird. I always hear you’re supposed to put it in chicken salad, though.
  • Jess trying to heat the turkey using her body. Schmidt finding it hot.
  • Nick and his turtle face. Which is, let’s be honest, totally a turtle face!


  • Jess’s pink dress and bow. And before that, her pink flats, and crazy ponytail which normal people can only get if they employ a bump-it. (And I refuse to buy one of those.)
  • Schmidt and Cece. “Beautiful savage.”
  • Paul singing about what he was doing. I want to do this more in my life.
  • “It’s like a Prince video.”
  • “My lasic eye is freaking out.” – Schmidt
  • Jess and Nick in general.
  • “I want to have sex with him – big time!” – Jess
  • The entire “bad play” excuse.
  • The set dressing of Mrs. Beverly’s apartment was so cool and kind of asian with some big green fish behind the couch. I dug it.
  • Cece and her pudding hand. You know that is going to be turned into the best gif ever, right?
  • Jess’s black studded circle purse. New Girl fashion is great. I’ve tried to get in touch with the New Girl costume department (so I can tell you guys what labels to look for) but to no avail, as of yet.

New Girl Quotes

Schmidt: Here’s another tip, don’t ask a guy out on a first date, on the least sexy holiday in America.
Jess: What are the sexiest holidays in America?
Schmidt: The most sexy holidays are the 4th of July, Independence day, obviously. Women’s history month, and Christmas.

Schmidt: I wanna let you know up front that I have some control issues in the kitchen. So, if I’m gonna do this, I’m cooking the whole meal. I don’t want you touching anything. And I don’t want to hear ‘Schmidt, Schmidt, you’re using too much tarragon.’ Because I’m not.
Jess: You will never hear that from me!

Winston: Are we gonna be able to hang with Paul, or is he also a teacher?

Jess: No! He’s here early, how do I look?
Schmidt: …It’s better if you don’t know.

Jess: I just need you to not do that thing you do.
Nick: What thing? I don’t do a thing.
Jess: Yes, you get all mean and you make that little turtle face!

Schmidt: Well I can blanch or I can talk – but I can’t do both!

New Girl airs Tuesdays on Fox and stars Zooey Deschanel, Hannah Simone, Jake M. Johnson, Max Greenfield and Lamorne Harris