New Girl quotes from the season 2 episode “Re-Launch.”
Schmidt: Honey, what happened to you in your life that made you like this?
Shot girl: I graduated from MIT then I got into a horrible accident where I lost half my brain.
Schmidt: There it is.
Schmidt: Can you believe the zoo wouldn’t let me borrow their white tiger? I mean, the nerve! Philip Seymour Hoffman is going to be sitting at the back of the party thinking, “Look at that guy. He couldn’t even get a big cat”.
Jess: Schmidt, you need a tiger. I need a job.
Winston: Look at me being so naughty!
Schmidt: Hey, look, Cece, fiiiire!
Jess: I got laid off.
Nick: Are you serious?
Nick: Sure, I could get a girl drunk and topless with only some crushed ice, a hollowed out papaya, and two fingers of rum. But then I grew up, and now I only want to make a drink that a coal miner would want. Straightforward, honest. Something that says, “I work in a hole”.
Jess: I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yoyo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat.
Jess: I thought we talked about you not wearing your shower diaper in the kitchen!
Schmidt: Excuse me? Do you think this has been easy? To wash myself wearing a penis cast all summer?
Jess: My boobs are loving this unemployed thing, they don’t have to go to boob jail every day.
Jess as Nick: When did gum get so fancy?
Schmidt: There’s gotta be an explanation for this, like he’s the Lord of Winterfell.
Photo credit of Zooey Deschanel in New Girl: Adam Rose and Patrick McElhenney/FOX
New Girl Season 2 Episode 1 “Re-Launch”
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