Your go-to source for New Girl quotes. This piece explores New Girl quotes from the season 1 episode “Secrets.”

Jew in the couch! – Nadia
Nadia, American manners! – CeCe
Sorry. Jew person in couch. – Nadia
She’s not wrong. – Schmidt

Do not drink my almond milk when you spent the last night drinking Schmidt. – Jess

I have my playlist all ready! Actually it’s Diane Keaton’s autobiography, and she just filmed First Wives Club and I it’s getting me pumped! – Jess

Why can’t we just donate the money? Why do we have to run the six miles first? – CeCe

She accidentally ate a cookie because she fell on it. – CeCe quotes New Girl

I am so sorry you had to hear about it like this. But can we take a minute to celebrate me? Schmidty really did it this time. It’s like I’m having Indian every night! – Schmidt

I can’t lie. Even thinking about keeping a secret turns my back into a slip n slide. – Schmidt quotes New Girl

J’accuse Miller. J’acusse! – Jess

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Two months ago. – CeCe
Two moons have passed since you started doing it? – Jess
Why do you start talking like a Native American whenever you get angry?  – New Girl Winston quotes
Two moons HAVE passed. – Jess

Sweat back, you told sweat back? – Schmidt

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Jess, just as a reminder, I told you seconds after I found out. – Nick quotes New Girl
Because you’re weak Nick, weak.” – Jess

My therapist gave it to me. She’s Asian but she’s the nicest. – Girl

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For what’s it’s worth. I think what I did was really brave. – Nick

Schmidt…I need you to teach me to be a douchebag. – Nick quotes from New Girl
Let’s get started. – Schmidt quotes New Girl
What is happening in the world? – New Girl Winston Quotes

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Oh, glory be. Are you asking for my help? – Schmidt quotes New Girl

Schmidt, I hate saying this. But I might, I might respect you. – Nick quotes from New Girl

You’ve all thought about me while self-completing!? – Jess quotes New Girl

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Doing some stretches? – CeCe
Good guess, model. – Jess quotes New Girl

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Diane Keaton’s talking about her rich life full of loyal friends. – CeCe

Jesus took it. The environment. Bears. Magic. – Nick, on who took his phone

Winson, you told me the first week you got back that you had a sex dream about Jess and she had racoons hands.” – Nick quotes from New Girl

He said that you’re going full Poppins. – New Girl Jess quotes

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Guess what you guys? My shoes are filled with blood! – Jess quotes New Girl

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