On Modern Family “Good cop, Bad Dog” we learned all about needing an opposite to complete us. And we learned a new curse phrase! Blammo, it was a good night!

The simplest answer is usually the true one: “Dad wants to go go-carting.” Don’t we all, Phil. Don’t we all? (Okay, not me. I had a tragic incident the summer of ’98…)

Your parenting style is showing: “Come on guys let’s have some fun!” should not be followed by, “Ow, you’re hurting me!” Claire, have less intense fun, okay?

The worst kind of sick bed: Cameron doesn’t need a wastebasket while he’s sick, he just throws his tissues around on the bed. It’s unsanitary, take a note: don’t do it.

The best excuse: The Craigslist killer will help you out in a pinch. Which is creepy on plenty of levels.

How do you know when you’re really sick? If they’d make a Lifetime movie about you. I like to think they’d have a trilogy about the pain I’ve suffered with my frizzy hair.

Best curse: Sweet and Sour Chicken! Any exotic dish will do. Kung Pao!

Sugar coating? No! It’s another garment: “I’m nice, and I put on the sugar jacket!” I want to wear sugar shoes.

Life Lesson: Sometimes you’re better at being the good cop than the bad cop. And let this be a warning to you, I’m better at being the bad cop. So…okay, fine, you can stay up an extra hour to watch Cougar Town and Happy Endings.