Modern Family never fails to deliver high-powered quotes. For Valentine’s Day, “Bixby’s Back” you guys! We’ve collected some great Modern Family Quotes from the episode.

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“You know I can’t stand it when you use that word.” – Claire
“Panties? Sorry, she lost her under-panties.” – Phil

“He’s a natural.” – Old man talking about Phil driving his wheeled chair

“That’s the lamest plan ever and I’m jealous.” – Hayley

“David never sent me a jar of his own tears.” – Hayley

modern family claire and phil

“She’s had the romantic, she’s had the intellectual. How about all of that in one little brown package?” – Manny

“Aren’t you a dear. … I’d like to mount your head in my trophy room.” – Cam

“You look hot enough to cook a pizza on.” – Phil as Clive Bixby

“I have exactly 10 million dollars. Minus the cost of your next drink.” – Phil as Clive Bixby

“Surprising I know. I’m usually good at catching things from bored housewives in bars.” – Phil as Clive Bixby

“A big gay angel.” – Jay

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“Well, pick out china and move to Vermont.” – Mitch

“I’m the second wife, Jay. Why do you treat me like I’m the first?” – Gloria

“I win!” – Gloria

“I think you think I’m not smarter than you. So now we know, you’re romantic, I’m smarter than you, and I bought you a motorcycle!” – Gloria

“Shut up, I win.” – Gloria

“I am not going  back to that hotel tonight. And I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to.” – Claire