Welcome to the Small Screen Scoop live blog of the Miss USA 2013 pageant! I’m Jessica, your host here tonight. While I could be recapping HGTV Star, or watching True Blood and Mad Men right now, I never miss a fun pageant…

In this photo provided by the Miss Universe Organization, Donald Trump, co-owner of the Miss Universe Organization, poses for a photo with the competitors during rehearsal for the upcoming Miss USA Competition at PH Live in Las Vegas on Saturday, June 15, 2013. (AP Photo/Miss Universe Organization)

In this photo provided by the Miss Universe Organization, Donald Trump, co-owner of the Miss Universe Organization, poses for a photo with the competitors during rehearsal for the upcoming Miss USA Competition at PH Live in Las Vegas on Saturday, June 15, 2013. (AP Photo/Miss Universe Organization)

Who: Beauty Queens from every U.S state and the District of Columbia. All are under 27, and none may be married or have children. (Anyone else having flashbacks to that Minnie Driver movie about pageants? She had a daughter and tried to keep it secret. The movie was called “Beautiful,” and her daughter was played by Jesse Eisenberg’s sister, Hallie Kate Eisenberg!)
What: 62nd Miss USA Pageant (2013)
Where: Las Vegas Strip, Planet Hollywood
Miss USA 2013: Nana Meriwether (Which is such a cartoon name that I can’t even…oh man.)
We’ll see: Swimsuit, Evening Gown, Interview Question
We won’t see: Talent, Charity Mission (Only Miss America has that. Hmph.)
Network: NBC
Controversy: Donald Trump is part of this. And PETA is protesting because of the tradition to award furs to the winners. I wouldn’t mind if a bucket of pig’s blood ended dumped over his horrible hair.)
Hosts: Nick Jonas and Giuliana Rancic (At least he’s the cutest of the Jo Bros.)
Performers: The Jonas Brothers and DJ Pauly D (Diluted talent aimed for tween to swon over. Oh boy.)

Miss USA 2013 Top 15

Miss Texas (Amazing white and gold dress) Ali Nugent
Miss Ohio – (She has a yorkie, I’m jealous. They are expensive!) Kristin Smith
Miss Louisiana – (She loves babies.) Kristen Girault
Miss South Carolina – (She claims to love French Toast. Let’s see her eat it, psh.) Megan Pinckney
Miss Pennsylvania – (Loves green smoothies.) Jessica Billings
Miss Alabama – (I thought her parents were holding up letters that just said ‘bam.’) Mary Margaret McCord
Miss Massachusetts (College since 15 years old but wants to be a dentist.) Sarah Kidd
Miss California (She wants Guiliana’s job.) Mabelynn Capeluj
Miss North Carolina (Shoe-obsessed.) Ashley Love-Mills
Miss West Virginia (Very smart. loves cats. I like her.) Chelsea Welch
Miss Maryland (Plays piano, started a website about confidence or something…) Kasey Staniszewki
Miss Illinois (Former cheerleader. Her interests include make-up. Oh man.) Stacie Juris
Miss Nevada (Not a native of the state.) Chelsea Caswell
Miss Connecticut (First of family to graduate college.) Erin Brady
Miss Utah (Loves Volleyball.) Marissa Powell

Miss USA 2013 Top 10

Miss Connecticut – Erin Brady
Miss South Carolina – Megan Pickney
Miss Ohio – Kristin Smith
Miss Texas – Ali Nugent
Miss Illinois – Stacie Juris
Miss Nevada – Chelsea Caswell
Miss Louisiana – Kristen Girault
Miss Utah – Marissa Powell
Miss Alabama – Mary Margaret McCord
Miss North Carolina – Ashley Love-Mills

Miss USA 2013 Top 5

Utah
Alabama (Yay!)
Illinois
South Carolina (Yay again!)
Connecticut

PLUS
Miss Texas

Running Commentary:

Music from DJ Pauly D? (It was hilarious to hear Donald Trump say that.) But Pauly doesn’t …sing. Or play anything. He’s just a DJ… meaning…what will he do? (I mean, even as DJ’s go, I heard he isn’t all that great…)

Jeannie Mai has really climbed up from the trenches. I think I’m proud of her. Right? Unless she’s a secret brat. I only like nice people.

Dammit, I DO want a Chi Arc. Send me one to review on ShesSmart.com!

Here’s some insight into my mind. I want to dye my hair, or at least get highlights. But after seeing all of these ladies tonight…I don’t see many highlights….and suddenly I am chickening out of my decision. Everyone else likes my hair how it is, but I want to rebel and have a change… we’ll have to see what I decide tomorrow… Dun dun du!

Sorry Miss West Virginia, the gray “live” in the upper left corner is making your hair look gray! I’d sue.

Most of those judges don’t even sound familiar to me. And I watch a TON of reality TV, guys. How sad.

Nana Meriwether looks beautiful in that red dress and with her hair long and sleek. I’m totally all about it.

During the swimsuit section, many of the girls had to wear those sarong’s around their shoulders, like capes. And one of them was wearing the colors for me to suddenly think “Superman!” It’s hilarious though. We like variety, but no one wants to see Miss USA wearing a fake cape. It’s embarrassing for us all. Some of the girls didn’t take their sarong off fast enough, and I kept hoping one of them would make a statement by purposefully not taking it off.

Erin Brady and Marissa Powell did really good at swimwear. Several of the other’s seemed to mess up a little.

I think I’m voting for Miss South Carolina, she sounds smart and sweet.

Jeannie Mai is now wearing a sterling silver apron over her evening gown. That’s an interesting choice. But her hair looks amazing, at least.

After the questions, the ladies had one more challenge. For the final look, they had to walk by DJ Pauly D. And it was interesting to see how they all interacted with him. Some did much better than others, making them look hip and friendly. Other’s looked snobby and awkward. I remain a fan of Miss Alabama now. She’s fantastic. Though I had a feeling Miss Texas could win.

Evening Gown Critique

Miss Connecticut – Awful dress!

South Carolina – Liquid silver dress, I like it.

Miss Ohio – Yellow is often annoying, but this dress is pretty fun and perfect for this event.

Miss Texas – It was nice, but not my favorite.

Miss Illinois – It looked way too mature and boring. She couldn’t even walk in it. She stood out in a bad way.

Giuliana Rancic – I loved that pink ballerina gown. It’s bad when she nearly has the best dress out of the bunch

Miss Nevada – Kind of boring, but …amazing, yes.

Miss Louisiana – I really liked this, but wish she’d worn her hair up with it.

Miss Utah – I didn’t like this dress at all, especially not the sheer part. Tacky.

Miss Alabama – Now THAT’s a winning look. It’s amazing.  <<<<< #1 dress

Miss North Carolina – …So she’s in her bathing suit again?

Questions!

Miss Utah flubbed her question. She was like …”to make education more better.” Oye.
Miss Alabama used the word ENCROACHING, so you KNOW she’s smart. That’s my girl!
Miss Illinois does seem smart, as well.
Miss South Carolina got the hardest question, I think. She was probably like, wth is treason?!
Miss Connecticut did fine.
Miss Texas had Betsey Johnson ask her question. She seemed …like, not with it. But Miss Texas answered the question really, really well.

Results

South Carolina – Fifth Runner Up
Texas – Fourth Runner Up
Utah – Third Runner Up
Illinois – Second Runner Up
Alabama – First Runner Up
Connecticut – Miss USA 2013 Winner!



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