First off, “proactively” is overwhelmingly hard to spell. Second, if Mary-Louise Parker ever did a Proactive commercial I think I’d cry a little. But neither of those things have much to do with the topic at hand (especially when I’ve changed the title of this piece so it doesn’t have that word anymore.)

Speaking of hands… And how come people with one eye get to be called a Cyclops but people with one hands have no cool term? Tangents. Yes. They’re fun. Do you know what looks like more fun? The new Red movie with Mary-Louise Parker, Helen Mirren, Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, and Morgan Freeman.

When I grow up (ha – like that’s even happening), I’d like to be Mary-Louise Parker, pretty please.

Red synopsis:

Frank, Joe, Marvin, and Victoria used to be the CIA’s top agents — but the secrets they know just made them the Agency’s top targets. Now framed for assassination, they must use all of their collective cunning, experience and teamwork to stay one step ahead of their deadly pursuers and stay alive. To stop the operation, the team embarks on an impossible, cross-country mission to break into the top-secret CIA headquarters, where they will uncover one of the biggest conspiracies and cover-ups in government history.

Who knew retired CIA agents could be such a hoot?

P.S. Make sure to catch MLP in the Weeds season 6 premiere: August 16th, 2010 only on Showtime. Don’t forget that the… Weeds season 6 promo is dangerously seductive!

>> Previously: Zachary Quinto leaves Heroes and joins Angels in America