June 3, 2013 at 2:52 PM EST
There are 6 main takeaways from the Keeping up with the Kardashian’s Season 8 premiere! And inside I’ll spill them all for you. (I’m Jules, and I’m a Kardashianaholic!)
- SMALL NOTE – Bruce Jenner and Kris Jenner watch The Bachelor together. This was shocking because they named a show on a network that isn’t E!
- SPEAKING OF E! – They suggested that people on twitter use the hashtag of #Kards. Not #KeepingUp or #Kardashians or anything else. Just “Kards.” Because America can’t spell more than 5 letters in a row.
- HOME ALONE – Bruce got his own house to function as a “man cave.” This worried everyone else in the family that a divorce was coming. Can you say SCRIPTED DRAMA? Naturally, Kris missed Bruce and she intruded and called him home.
- BACKDOOR KNOCKING – Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick decided their premiere storyline would be about backdoor shenanigans. Oh, and don’t worry, of COURSE there were props! Vegetables and even Peachy-O’s candy were used. When Kourtney said she’d agree to the action only if Scott did it first, she smartly shut down that conversation. (But, not before she put on an unusual black accessory and galloped around the house.) Surprisingly, we also learned that Rob Kardashian is fine with being open about sex, but Khloe Kardashian is the more normal sibling who doesn’t want to discuss sexual positions with her male sibling and brother-in-law.
- POOR KIM – Kim Kardashian is rich and beautiful, but she just wants the world to know that she’s got it real hard. She is still married to another man, Kris Humphries, and her new mansion won’t be babyproofed in time. Woe. (The house has so many problems, the pool and hot tub are not in the ideal spot so they’re going to move the entire thing. Poor Kimye.)
- NEW FACES – Brandon Jenner, Leah Felder and Brody Jenner will all be featured this season. Which means even less for Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner, probs. My instant thought at really seeing Lea is that I bet Kim gets insecure and jealous around this sweet, thin, blonde girl. (Ain’t nothing wrong with curves, but we all tend to be insecure around people who are the opposite of us and pulling it off. That’s why I am always wishing I was a brunette!) Oh, and Rob Kardashian’s weight loss story will be a slight focus this season, which at least gives him something to do other than that embarrassing sock line. (LORDY.)