Here’s what you won’t see on Jersey Shore season 4.
Here are a few predictions of great scenes and “plots” for Jersey Shore season 4 that will very likely never see the light of a warm Italian afternoon (Snooki’s idea of morning.) Still, it’s fun to dream. So, let’s dream on!
- Sammi injures her vocal chords from yelling at Ron so much for talking to Jenni, and subsequently becomes a mute the rest of the season. Darn the luck.
- Deena gets way into the theology of Thomas Aquinas and spends her confessional interviews reciting liturgical texts. While drunk, of course.
- Vinny takes up the art of miming.
- Snooki and Vinny hook up, then Vinny falls in love with Snooki, only to have Snooki decide he isn’t for her. Karma, boy!
- Deena meets James Franco and they get briefly engaged.
Plenty more after the jump!
- DJ Pauly D dj’s a party for Wills and Kate (as in formerly Middleton.)
- Mike “The Situation”discovers a love of Italian food like he’s never known before, and his abs get turned in for a giant gut.
- Angelina is the boss at the pizza parlor. Looks like they should have tried to deal with her nicely before she was in charge of their asses.
- With a lack of cabs to ever arrive, Pauly spends the entire summer trying out new catch phrases.
- Ronnie gets involved in the mob business.
- Sammi and Ronnie look into their ancestry and realize that they’re actually related. Because of the harsh reality of incest, the two can never be in a relationship again!
- Snooki is revealed to be a feminist with a PH.D. who is undercover to discover the culture of date rapists.
- Vinny gets jealous and becomes a cockblock against Deena and Snooki
- Snooks, JWoww, Deena and Sammi form a popular girl group in tribute to 60’s Girl Groups.
- Snooki gets a sugar daddy and she becomes a duchess.
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