Here’s what you won’t see on Jersey Shore season 4.

Here are a few predictions of great scenes and “plots” for Jersey Shore season 4 that will very likely never see the light of a warm Italian afternoon (Snooki’s idea of morning.) Still, it’s fun to dream. So, let’s dream on!

  • Sammi injures her vocal chords from yelling at Ron so much for talking to Jenni, and subsequently becomes a mute the rest of the season. Darn the luck.
  • Deena gets way into the theology of Thomas Aquinas and spends her confessional interviews reciting liturgical texts. While drunk, of course.

Jersey Shore Season 4: Secrets Revealed About the Cast

  • Vinny takes up the art of miming.
  • Snooki and Vinny hook up, then Vinny falls in love with Snooki, only to have Snooki decide he isn’t for her. Karma, boy!
  • Deena meets James Franco and they get briefly engaged.

Plenty more after the jump!

  • DJ Pauly D dj’s a party for Wills and Kate (as in formerly Middleton.)
  • Mike “The Situation”discovers a love of Italian food like he’s never known before, and his abs get turned in for a giant gut.
  • Angelina is the boss at the pizza parlor. Looks like they should have tried to deal with her nicely before she was in charge of their asses.
  • With a lack of cabs to ever arrive, Pauly spends the entire summer trying out new catch phrases.
  • Ronnie gets involved in the mob business.

Jersey Shore Season 4: Five Shocking Ways the Cast ‘Suffered’ in Italy

  • Sammi and Ronnie look into their ancestry and realize that they’re actually related. Because of the harsh reality of incest, the two can never be in a relationship again!
  • Snooki is revealed to be a feminist with a PH.D. who is undercover to discover the culture of date rapists.
  • Vinny gets jealous and becomes a cockblock against Deena and Snooki
  • Snooks, JWoww, Deena and Sammi form a popular girl group in tribute to 60’s Girl Groups.
  • Snooki gets a sugar daddy and she becomes a duchess.

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