If Pauly D‘s age doesn’t surprise you, his increasingly sexist views about women might.

Sex in honor of Vinny.

Not only did many of the roomies celebrate in honor of Vinny being gone (aka drinking to drown their sorrows) but Pauly had sex in his honor. He said he was getting it in for Vinny. “I’m gonna smash this tattoo chick in my man vinny’s bed, in honor of him leaving the house.” The girl he picked was actually just Vinny’s type, he also explained.

How team meatball does it.

Team meatball (Deena and Snooki) were both depressed about Vinny having left, so they decided to have a Meatball day. What does that mean? It involves bumping into random people (like Joanie, Deena’s sister), drinking so much you literally cannot walk, flashing your underwear to everyone, dancing so hard that your hair and extensions become knotted, calling out phrases about how your boyfriend is going to be soo mad at you, and hanging out with gay guys – who have the advantage of being someone you know you won’t hook up with later. (Now all the straight guys are gonna scam with girls by pretending to be gay.)

The rules of seaside.

A lot of the rules in seaside are about what vocabulary to use (smash, smush, etc) but there are also unspoken rules of the ettiquette of a smash session. If a girl comes home with you, she’s expected to put out. And if she doesn’t, then she’s kicked out. Pauly actually said to the girl he brought home (who just wanted to talk), “You can come to bed or I can call you a cab.” There’s two choices: have sex, or leave.

It trended on twitter.

Pauly is 31. Although everyone can see his birth date on Wikipedia, people were amazed to learn that DJ Pauly D is 31, making him older than Mike. Living tghe Jersey Shore lifestyle seems funny in your 20’s, but when you think of these people being in their 30’s it starts to seem sad.

Birthday troubles.

Pauly had the best birthday when his entire family from Rhode Island showed up, and brought him the present of his hometown barber. Meanwhile, it was Mike’s birthday too, but he didn’t get anything. So, he was sulky and pissed off, complaining about how he’s always the villain. But you reap what you sow. Does Mike leave the Jersey Shore? Probably not.

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