Tonight on CBS’s “Big Brother” Ronnie Hustle got evicted. I am so excited, I am going to ROAST him tomorrow in his interview. Also, Jeff won the Coup d’Etat. I hope he uses it next week. I think the odds he uses it just went up since friggin’ Chima won Head of Household.
Russell and Chima go all “Moonlighting” on us
We kick things off tonight with an enormous fight between Chima and Russell. It starts because Michele tells Russell some things about Chima wanting him out in confidence and he immediately runs like a little bitch to Jessie and Natalie to see if it’s true. Chima gets involved and drags Michele back into it and Michele, in good protective fashion, turns the focus away from herself, causing Chima and Russell to go at it like crazy people.
Jordan also has a great line about Chima yelling and “bobbing her head and waving her hand. She’s sassy.” Might as well have just called her “black,” Jordan.
Ronnie Cock-Blocks Jeff
Jeff tries to get his groove on with Jordan and succeeds in kissing her, when stupid awkward Ronnie comes into the dark bedroom, trips around, begs for a sympathy vote, farts and just generally cock-blocks Jeff. Jeff remarks that he “hopes Ronnie goes home this week so I can try with Jordan next week.” My boyfriend remarks, “You only get to try once a week?” Snerk.
Russell’s HOH Interview
He tries to walk back his fight with Chima, telling us that he has apologized and whatnot. He also misuses the term “melting pot.” Those damn melting pots and their wont to explode. Sigh. Russell also says he is very loyal to both Jessie and Jeff and he is going to try his best not to back-stab either one. Hmmm. I hope when he eventually has to choose whose throat to slit, he chooses Musclehead Jessie.
Coup d’Etat Time
12 million votes were cast and Jeff has won the Coup d’Etat! YES! He better not use it this week, Ronnie seems to be on his way out and I am sick of his pasty, smarmy face. Thankfully, Jeff doesn’t use it. I hope he gets to use it next week, I hate when stuff like that goes unused.
Lydia and Ronnie give their speeches. Ronnie gets all choked up and then says to Michele that he’s the worst human being he’s ever had the misfortune of meeting and that he absolutely feels sorry for her. God, he is an asshole. Does he actually think he has FANS? Seriously, he’s a punk who thinks he is a lot cleverer and smarter than he actually is. He’s just a sad little man who is bitter than he got outplayed and that Michele won POV and didn’t save him.
Kevin votes for Ronnie, Natalie votes for Lydia, Chima votes for Lydia… commercial. Jessie votes to evict Lydia, Michele votes to evict Ronnie, Jeff votes to evict Ronnie and Jordan votes to evict Ronnie.
HALLULJAH! The rat is gone, the rat is gone! He is so annoying, thank the Lord God almighty. Everybody hugs him and acts like when he goes outside, Julie Chen shoots him in the head. Oh if wishing made it so. He manages to be an asshole to Michele AGAIN on his way out. Classy.
He says that Michele has no loyalty to anyone but herself and that she flipped on him. Well, duh. The same thing you did! Weird. He says he had ultimate loyalty to Jessie, Natalie and Chima and somewhat Russell. That’s not the game, douchebag. You can’t compare yourself to Dr. Will and then get all crybaby when other people play the game.
Earlier this week, Kevin hit a button in the backyard that played messages from “Big Brother” fans. I am on the same page as Jordan as I wonder, “Who has time to do that?” But they are used for the HOH competition. Julie asks questions based on the advice from the messages that played all last night. If you get it right, you stay. If you get it wrong, you’re out. Lydia and Michele are out on question 1, Jessie out on question 3, Jeff and Jordan are out on question 4 (c’mon Kevin!), Kevin and Natalie are out on question 5 and then Chima wins. Dammit all to hell.
On the upside, if Jordan or Kevin had won and Jeff liked their nominations, he wouldn’t use the Coup d’Etat. Maybe this will guarantee that he will use it! That’d be awesome.