The Culprit: Marshall Erikson
The TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Actor: Jason Segel
What he’d be doing: He’d be debating over buying two different identical flavors of gum as he’s on the phone with Lily. When Lily hints she will make him Belgian waffles for dinner, Marshall drops the gum (like it’s hawt, wut!…okay, never mind) and races to get Redi Whip and mixed berries before she can change her mind. And don’t try to tell me you have Belgian waffles without Redi Whip. In this case, Cool Whip is just inferior. Plus, Redi Whip is more fun when it comes to sexual liaisons.
In the shopping cart: Are you kidding? He’d have gouda, for sure. NO EXCEPTIONS! After all, that’s the only thing Lily lets him bring to their joint dinner parties. I also suspect he’d have Pringles, not just for the taste but so he can make duck faces with Ted.


The Culprit: Casey Cartwright
The TV Show: Greek
Actor: Spencer Grammer
What she’d be doing: Trying to find little Sara Lee Chocolate Dipped CheeseCake Bites by an off-brand that also offers a “Light” version of them. Zeta Beta Zeta needs to save money where they can, but they also need really good snacks for an upcoming meeting where they boost morale.
In the shopping cart: Having not found what she’s looking for yet (not a suitable metaphor for her life now that she has Cappie!), she’s gone a bit wild in purchasing random things like oven mitts with cats on them. Casey is also hoarding snacks for her and Ashleigh. So you’d find Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts, Fruit by the Foot (excellent as a silly prop for making fake mustaches when they’re tipsy), and Smart Food Popcorn in the 100-calorie bags. I approve of all of these snacks, although this means lots of salads for lunch, ladies. Junk food is empty calories!

Pssst. If you’re a loyal Zeta Beta Zeta you might be interested in shopping for Hello Kitty Merchandise. I went on a virtual shopping spree to find the cutest stuff since my boredom knows no bounds.

Who would you like to run into at the grocery store? Sound off below with comments!