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CBS debuted their eleventh season of the summertime guilty pleasure “Big Brother” tonight. The theme this year is going back to high school and as such, all houseguests have been divided into cliques. The first HOH competition was held with the clique members competing together and each clique had a corresponding former contestant waiting outside so that if they won, that person would enter the house as the 13th houseguest.
I was rooting hard for Brian to come into the house, then Cowboy, then Jessica and Jesse from Big Brother 10 last. I could not stand him, what a putz. And guess what? The Jocks won and Jesse is back in the Big Brother house. Kill me now. Cast profiles below.
The Jocks are Russell, Natalie and Jeff. Russell is an MMA fighter and Natalie is a Tae Kwon Do champ, so those are legit. Jeff played D-III football in college, big whoop. I’m athletic enough to play D-III football.
The Heathers are Braden, Laura and Jordan. Braden is a smarmy, cocky guy who thinks far too highly of his own intelligence, which is not nearly as acute as he thinks it is. Laura at least has the good graces to admit she’s going to use her body to get by in the game. Jordan just had a boob job and makes me want to ask her about maps.
The Brains are Chima, Ronnie and Michele and they rock. Ronnie is about the more adorable thing you’ve ever seen and Chima and Michele are bad-asses, as they are a freelance journalist and friggin’ neuroscientist, respectively.
The Artists are Casey, Lydia and Kevin. I refuse to call them the “Off-Beats,” as I don’t enjoy that the only gay cast members are labeled “off-beat.” Casey is a little too Mike Boogie for my taste, but Lydia and Kevin both seem cool.