Hell’s Kitchen is flippin’ dangerous. You can go years without watching, and then just one episode pulls you back into its grasp. Last week, I’d have been hard-pressed to tell you anything about the new season of Hell’s Kitchen, other than the inevitably that Chef Gordon Ramsay was probably yelling at everyone like the Titantic was sinking. And it’s true, he’s a yeller. But now I am armed with so much more knowledge after watching the two episodes that aired on Tuesday night.

Hell's Kitchen: Autumn / Fox

My favorite contestant is Autumn. She knows how to play the game. I actually admired that she used sneaky tactics to get the Red Team’s food sent back, because this show relies heavily around manipulation and lying. And it doesn’t hurt that in a reward challenge with darts, she was the only person in the team of men to  hit the dart board. Girl’s got skills!

Holli would probably be my second favorite (and not just because she’s also pretty), but I don’t know how solid my opinion is of her yet. She seemed to be decent, but you can’t judge a reality show contestant by just two episodes.

It’s surprising how often the contestants mess up very simple tasks on the show. The added stress of the situation can’t help, but how does someone not know that when you make pasta the water should start boiling first? I can hardly make boxed Mac N Cheese, and even I know that much. Where’s my culinary degree, yo?

In the first hour, Fran nominated Maria (thank God) and Nilka. But Chef decided that Nilka didn’t deserve the nomination, and pulled up Scott. Now, Scott’s well-spoken and seems like he’d do well as a general leader of a restaurant, sure. But the reality is very different. Especially when he’s a jerk who can’t cook. Luckily for him, Maria was even worse (thumbs down, lady) and she got the boot.

In the second hour, Scott was bringing the Red Team down in every way – especially when it came to sending out undercooked food. The Red Team was so bad they got sent home by Ramsay, and meanwhile the Blue Team started thriving. They don’t just look out for themselves in that group, they have a good group morale which makes it an easier environment to work within. Do you think it’s a gender thing? Girls get catty, and the guys are able to work together because they don’t speak up or out as freely so there’s no catty drama?

For punishment, the Red Team had to clean the kitchen. Earlier they’d had to scrub out the “toxic” ovens – they were not happy.

One Chef told them to piss off, they all went to smoke. Which I think is weird. Why is there so much smoking on this show? Although, I have read articles about how a certain type of smoking is very popular among top chefs in kitchens everywhere. (What is that pot-smoking/chef culture all about?)

Anyway, the jerktastic Scott wanted to stay because he said he had the most experience, even if he’s the worst cook on the team. …What a good case? Doesn’t seem that experience has done much for him. Fran nominated Scott as her first choice.

Hell's Kitchen: Scott / Fox

The second nominee by Fran was … Fran. Self-sabotage? (Time to sing some Beastie Boys! And seriously, that song should be the theme song for Hell’s Kitchen.) Then she decided upon Siobhan for being the sort who second-guesses herself in the kitchen too much. Nilka stood up for Siobhan, saying she’s a team-player who is learning. Ramsay seems disgusted with the entire Red Team, and so am I.

“I’m the best cook on this team, the best leader in this team. This team will f@cking die if I’m not here,” Scott said. But Ramsay countered with, “I can’t take it. I kept waiting and waiting.” Scott was then OUT. In his exit interview, he said he was still the best cook on the Red team. Sorry Scott, you’re no longer on the team. When he cited that he had the most experience, it comes to a point where you wonder how much that experience was worth when he was that awful?

Benjamin was then sent to the Red Team to be their leader. Will he be their Angel of mercy to lead to them a victory next week?

“If Scott could cook as well as he talked, he’d be the winner of Hell’s Kitchen. Unfortunately, he cannot.” – Gordon Ramsay

Looks like someone needs to go into Politics.

Visit the Hell’s Kitchen website at Fox.com.

Previously: David Duchovny and Demi Moore are The Joneses: An under-hyped movie about over-hyping products

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