Much has been said about the Heidi and Spencer divorce or separation (leading to divorce), but how much of it is true? Just as we’ve questioned if their entire relationship was a hoax, now we have to ask if their divorce rumors are a hoax. (As far as people who are in a fake relationship can have a fake divorce, anyway.)

It turns out that no sooner have we heard that Heidi wants a separation from controlling, crazy Spencer, then the news drops that Heidi (Who is basically tweeting every day: “It’s Montag now, bitches!”) has a new reality show with the much tweeted-about friend, Jen Bunney. And this show, which might awfully enough be called The Heidi Show is being allegedly filmed by her husbands production company, Pratt Productions (creative, eh?). The show will document Heidi’s time in Malibu with Bunney.

Meanwhile, there have been no legal separation papers filed, and Heidi’s sister (Holly Montag) has been tweeting that it’s all a hoax and publicity stunt. The most recent tweet from Holly says, “Shes not. If anyone has come to expect anything from those 2 is that THEY r the LIARS RT @amandaf0 I relly hope Heidi is getting away from S.” Call me crazy, but I believe Holly. She’s always seemed like one of the less crazy people on The Hills, and I bet she’d love to get her sister out of the cult of Spencer.

Remember how at some point I said I didn’t care about The Hills? I still don’t. But damn is it fun to watch if you only have 20 minutes to eat a french bread pizza, and don’t want to watch infomercials otherwise. The episode I watched (something about a bird was in the title?) had no Spencer and Heidi, but they showed that as of the last episode the entire Hills gang got together to shut them out. I wonder how the show felt about that? Pretty funny stuff to me. Which makes me feel bad! (Until I read that Montag put a restraining order out on her mother!)

But seriously, Spencer and Heidi are whack-a-doodles and I don’t know which I feel worse for. Well, let me rephrase. I don’t feel bad for Spencer at all, ever. I just can’t tell if I should feel bad for Heidi or not. I’m not even sure what to call her anymore: Heidi Montag, Heidi Pratt, Heidi Pratt-Montag, Heidi Mutant of Plastic Surgery Demon Lady? Honestly, the last option feels the most “right” in my heart. Except I see that Heidi recently clarified this on twitter. She’s Heidi Montag now, again.And it seems she was affirming that notion before we even knew that Heidi had asked for a separation.

heidi pratt

Upon examining Heidi’s twitter, I see she’s moved away from talking about Spencer at all – instead talking about puppies and a bunch of different girlfriends, especially Jen Bunney. She updates to say stuff like “@jenniferbunney see you tomorrow my love! xoxo! muaah!” Seems like a passive aggressive way of rubbing stuff in Spencer’s face. (Passive aggressiveness is not the worst of her crimes, in any way.) She had to tweet about how this summer will be the best of her life, using one tweet to add an additional couple of exclamation points.

heidi spencer

It’s sad that Heidi Montag’s greatest goal in life is to become at the star status that doesn’t-brush-her-teeth Jessica Simpson has. Geez.

But Spencer has taken over Montag, so I still feel bad for her. He said in another episode of The Hills this season “‘I don’t let her go on TV, no computers. The only thing Heidi does is read and write poetry and pray and pet puppies… She is logged out of The Matrix.” That’s pretty effed up.

Heidi Montag and Jen Bunney are reportedly going to be living together in Malibu this summer. Bunney told RadarOnline.com that “We’re really excited to do girly things and show people who we really are and that we’re really fun, sweet and loyal girls.” I think she forgot to add, “And film it all so we can get even richer!”

Previously: Heidi and Spencer are true American patriots (divorce is a past time!)

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