Once again, the citizens of Bluebell get caught up in lies, jealousy, scheming and scandal. Because it’s Tuesday and that’s what happens. And that’s how we like it, don’t we?

Check out all the info on the Southern Style Shenanigans inside.

So, in case it wasn’t clear from the end of last week’s episode with the XBOX gaming, Zoe (Rachel Bilson) and Wade (Wilson Bethel) are totally getting it on again. He is shirtless and all is right in the world. (Well, not all… but he is distracting me from the rest.) They are apparently into making up fun scenarios (like being fighter pilots and hobos on a train) to keep the casual sex fun.

Lemon (Jamie King) has settled into her new abode aboard the house boat and shows it off to Brick (Tim Matheson) and Magnolia (Claudia Lee) who, naturally, is looking to Houseboat sit soon and throw a party. Oh Magnolia, you so silly. And while Lemon may be an independent woman now, that doesn’t mean she won’t try to obsessively micro-manage her father’s life, reminding him of rose bushes and dry cleaning. Of course, considering in 5 minutes Magnolia tried to steal the houseboat keys, she may have reason to be worried.

You know what’s fun – happy Zoe who is getting sex on the regular. She is downright chipper having pancakes with BFF Lavon (Cress Williams), and happy to share the details of her sexcapades with him. He doesn’t want to hear it, but she reminds him that since she is forever and always firmly on Team Lavon (aren’t we all?!?!?!), she doesn’t have a girlfriend to talk to. Down with Ruby (Golden Brooks).

George (Scott Porter), meanwhile, has been sucked into a relationship with Shelby (Laura Bell Bundy) because he doesn’t know how to break up to her nicely. So Wade teaches him the compliment sandwich as a breakup technique. I won’t get into it, but I can guarantee it won’t work for George.

Ruby uses the old ‘bug bite might be cancer’ routine to try to see Zoe. Ruby just wants to have girl talk and to set Zoe up with her handsome cousin, Zach. But Zoe says she is unavailable in the dating world prompting Ruby to ask: “Is it George? Is it Wade? Is it… no that’s all there is.” Word, sister. I think I see where this is going. Also, I’ve seen promo pics, so I know where it’s going…

Lemon is in full force as Lavon’s campaign manager, but don’t worry, you didn’t miss a scene between last week and this week. She did all this work, like getting The Owls endorsement, without Lavon hiring her. But she wears him down with her “I will do anything” attitude. So he hires her.

Zoe heads to Wade’s in full sexy!doctor attire, but another chic is there and Wade brings that nameless woman into his apartment… there is a sock on the door. Classy. Guess who is going to call Nick! When Zoe goes to talk to Lavon (Who, as always is cooking in the kitchen. Seriously. Perfect man.) he wants nothing to do with it, so she goes, presumably, to find Ruby who will.

hart of dixie fashion

Lavon gets a call from Lemon – Dash, the big get in town as head of the Owls, has given Lavon his soft endorsement. In a “cue a pregnancy scare” trope moment, Lemon is feeling nauseous for the second scene in a row. Woo. It doesn’t get better for her when Ruby comes in saying she is also going to have a party, like Lemon planned for Lavon. I love when Lemon leaves, saying she got Dash’s vote, tand Wade leans in and tells Ruby he is voting for Lavon. Awesome.

Over at the Breeland home (the one that isn’t floating) Magnolia and Brick aren’t doing so well. They have no groceries because Brick doesn’t know how to go to a grocery store. Honestly! But he is going to pull himself up by the bootstraps, and go to the store and send Magnolia to the drycleaners and do laundry. Don’t hurt yourself, kids.

As I suspected (knew) Zoe takes Ruby up on her set up with Zach. Which Zoe immediately tries to rub in Wade’s face by telling him, but he takes it in stride. So instead of going on a fancy date out of town, Zoe calls Zach and moves it to a the ever popular, Rammer Jammer. Oh Zoe, you are ridiculous.

Fun fact: in the last mayoral election, the Belles endorsed “None of the Above” instead of the unopposed Lavon. But this year, Lemon has them firmly on Team Lavon. Which is all good, but the point of this scene is that Cricket thought Lemon was preggers… and now Lemon does too.

When Zoe shows up at the RJ with Zach (Stephen Bishop) Wade just laughs and shakes his head because Zoe is as transparent as can be. Zoe is such a spaz, and Wade is cool as a cucumber. Good times. When Wade flirts with a blonde, she just spazs some more. Sometimes she is a child.

Lemon tries to help Lavon, but she is a little distracted by a “single mom” pamphlet which is in sight. Then she has a hormonal breakdown and almost abandons Lavon in the middle of their meeting and moves on to get something to eat.

Speaking of, how is babydaddy doing? He’s busy dealing with Shelby who is obsessed with discount shopping. And non-stop talking. So non-stop that George can’t even get his compliment sandwich out to breakup with her. Sigh.

Lemon is out at the Dixie Store (the one store…) with Lavon, and is trying to sneak buying a pregnancy test, but keeps getting interrupted by people who seem hell bent (via the writers) on faking her out about knowing what she is doing. They are so silly. And then Lemon puts a test in one of the bags (without paying) which sets off the security system that Frank, the owner, put in after a 6 year old stole a Twinkie awhile back. Oh, small town charms!

When Frank finds the pregnancy test, Lemon acts like it isn’t hers. Lavon says it is his and he though Frank rung it up. Why does Lavon need a pregnancy test? Because he thinks the gator, Burt Reynolds, who is a boy AND a girl (not really) may be pregnant with little baby gators. HA! But so sweet.

Drunk!Zoe is busy tanking her date over at the Rammer Jammer so Zach tries to walk her home. Then Ruby comes in and realizes exactly why Zoe is being a drunk crazy pants. But before Zoe can further ruin things for herself, Wade (who makes sure to point out her isn’t jealous) lets Zoe know that Lavon got arrested for shoplifting which she immediately screams out in front of a gleeful Ruby. Bah, Zoe. Stop being stupid!

Over at Casa Breeland, Brick can’t cook and Magnolia doesn’t know to separate the whites and colors in the laundry. Yikes.

Wade heads down to the Dixie Store where Franks prattles on about thievery and horrible mayors. He then gets to telling Wade that Burt Reynolds is pregnant. Don’t worry, kids. Wade was smart enough to work out who the pregnancy test was really for… eventually. So he calls George. Good friend!

Zoe runs after Ruby to try to get her to stop from using the news against Lavon. But in the past 5 minutes Ruby’s already called the paper to run the story. Zoe isn’t having it and told Ruby they weren’t friends. At least she got her sense back eventually.

At the houseboat, Lemon worries about being a single mom and tells Lavon she doesn’t think she can do it. But Lavon (perfect. man.) tells her that if anyone could be a perfect single mom it is the one and only Lemon Breeland who would tackle that baby and show it who’s boss. Figuratively.

George shows up on the houseboat to tell Lemon he will be there for her if she is pregnant. She isn’t pregnant and George is visibly happy – as is Lemon. So they drink it up in celebration of her empty uterus.

Brick and Magnolia scheme to try to get Lemon back. It gets a little testy because Magnolia is starving. But they come up with the idea to have Lemon come to tutor Magnolia. Oh you two… you make me so sad.

Lemon, with the help of George, realizes it wasn’t morning sickness – it was sea sickness. So George offers to switch homes with her – he wants to live on the boat and she can have the apartment. She thinks he is too nice, not just because of his attempt to remedy their living situations, but because he would have raised the baby with Lemon after everything. But even so, he wants the boat. It’s nice they can be friends, right?

When Zoe goes home, Lavon is on the phone with the paper who wants a quote about his shoplifting. Zoe has to tell Lavon that Ruby leaked the story, which she found out from Zoe. She did a very Summer Roberts “sum up the entire episode in 4 quick sentences” rant. But Lavon, hurt, is able to sum it up in one achingly sad sentence about his campaign being over because Zoe’s got issues. Yep.

The next morning, Lavon’s BBQ is empty and Ruby’s is full of people and Ruby’s obnoxious face.  Zoe shows up in full support of her BFF, who, of course, forgives her. If he had just let Zoe talk about Wade, maybe it wouldn’t have happened.

Lemon, in an attempt to make things right, tells Frank she stole the birth control. Way to go, Lem! Of course, Frank the gossip tells Brick and Magnolia that his daughter stole a pregnancy test. Brick, naturally, thinks it was Mags. Ha!

Not as smooth – George trying to break up Shelby. While it doesn’t go well, he does at least break up with her this time! Congrats, George.

After what I can only imagine was a loooong rant about Wade, Zoe finally gets to the heart of her issues. Zoe (aka Big Z)  had hoped that being with her would be enough for Wade and he wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. Maybe she isn’t that casual, after all.

Lemon goes to tell Lavon that she told the truth and now the Owls are back to undecided, which is a big move in the right direction. She tells Lavon to fire her, but he doesn’t. Because they are friends. I literally said “Awwww” out loud. Brick and Magnolia are happy Lemon is without child, but are upset to find out that she isn’t going to be coming back home. How will they survive? Magnolia is going to buy them a new wardrobe and he’s going to steal all the BBQ. Duh.

Then there is our silly casual couple. Zoe goes to Wade and says that she can’t do his casual anymore. He is disappointed, because he liked it – and so did she. So she suggests they remain casual, but exclusively. Not boyfriend/girlfriend. Just no more socks on doors with nameless blondes.  But, it turns out the blonde was dropping off tiles for Zoe’s bathroom and the sock was just dirty from stepping in raccoon poop. Awww… how sweet. I think.

So my favorite couple is a couple now, kind of. How long will that last? Hopefully at least one episode. Maybe? Please?

I will admit, I wasn’t sure what I was going to think of this one, but I thought it was a sweet episode and further solidified that we can hate Ruby now that Zoe does too. Yay! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch that last season again.

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