Harem Pants and the Hobbit Shire: both on ‘America’s Next Top Model’

Cycle 14 of ANTM is winding down before a new crop of crazies can strut on the catwalk. Last night we had five girls left – Alexandra, Jessica, Krista, Raina and Angelea. Alasia was sent home last week even though she was a favorite. In a surprising twist, Alexandra has started doing better, even though I was certain she’d be sent home in an elimination.

While I feel the tagline for America’s Next Top Model could easily be something along the lines of “Those Bitches!” because of how often the girls swear, call each other bitches, and how nuts they are (p.s. this isn’t a good show to demonstrate role models). However, in this episode everything was mostly hush-hush. No one called anyone a bitch to their face, is that a Top Model first?!

Instead, the weapon of choice was to make girls paranoid. While Krista and Angelea used to be friends, Krista has paired off with Alexandra, and they both talk about Angelea and Raina in secret. Krista is losing no steam. “I feel like the other girls are getting tired, but that’s okay. I’ll just run right past them.” More like trample over them, but okay. She’s one of the true contenders in this cycle.

The Top Model hijinks in the house included a moment where stay-at-home Mom, Jessica, was warming tacos on the toaster and they caught on fire. She screamed and flapped her arms, then threw a rag over it – clueless as to what to do. One of the other girls pulled the rag off, and unplugged it. I’m surprised Jessica didn’t offer to pour some gasoline on the damn thing. This event caused the other girls to question Jessica’s mothering skills. When they learned she never cooks, they were like “what DO you do?” Questioning the mothering skills of a contestant doesn’t usually go over well. Jessica didn’t seem to do anything but feel sad. If Anslee had been there, you know she would have had a lot to say. And by that, I mean she would have raged around the kitchen like a scary Mamma bear.

Since the girls are in New Zealand now (something I totally forgot) they were taken to the Lord of the Rings shire set. Some of the girls were jazzed, some were confused about what a shire was. It’s okay. Those movies were long and boring. They met with Jay Manuel and actress Sarah McLeod and then did a photoshoot challenge. They had five frames and they had to pose in one of the small Hobbit House doorways. They did this while wearing World Designs fashions from New Zealand.

It all looked a bit like a fairytale (even with Alexandra giving pin-up girl poses in harem pants), and didn’t seem like an incredibly hard challenge. Try photographing them being graceful and editorial while doing the limbo – then I’ll believe you can call this a CHALLENGE! Seriously, it was just like posing in a large box, or something. Mimes do that all the time. Angela and Krista did the best, and Krista won the challenge. So, Krista got $3,000 worth of clothing from World Design, and because she had the best photo of last week, she was also given $15,000 for a total of $45,000 worth of clothing. This gave Angelea sour grapes.

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Alexandra hasn’t really shown this cycle, but now that she’s had ONE good photo, she’s feeling more confident. Krista has befriended her, even seen giving her advice about how she can do it. But we know Krista wants to win. The only reason you would say stuff like that is if you don’t really believe this other person has a chance. And Alexandra really doesn’t. She’s mostly just gotten lucky. I’m not saying she’s bad. She’s just not the best of this cycle. I’ve also realized that I was so busy thinking that Anslee looked like Natalie Portman (in the face) that I didn’t realize that Alexandra reminds me of Katherine Heigl. No wonder I make bad associations!

Anyway, Krista and Alexandra are immature and tease Angelea. It’s sad that in finding confidence, Alexandra seems to use it to belittle other’s. I really understand that she hasn’t felt accepted yet, so she loves that feeling – but that’s when you have to be strong and well, not a brat. Deciding that just picking on Angelea isn’t enough, the two were later seen talking about how they hated Raina. I don’t like this weird “Oh Mylanta” thing she’s been saying, but give me a break. She’s fine.

When the Tyra mail was delivered on screen to the ladies, I thought it was funny because they typed it in the Comic Sans MS font. Everyone who knows anything about graphic design regards that font to be unprofessional and cheesy (so much so that there is a site dedicated to banning it). Who is running this show?! Anyone? Bueller?

In the Cover Girl Lounge, Bianca and Laura had their 30 second spot where they are, as always, awkward and painfully rehearsed. It’s uncomfortable to watch these bits, and it just makes me glad neither of them won.

I found it funny that during ANTM they did a promo for Fly Girls and the season finale of that show. I greatly doubt it will be renewed. While watching, The CW also reminded us that the second to last episode of the season for The Vampire Diaries airs tonight. AS IF YOU COULD FORGET! I’m excited to see Mia Kirshner being all badass and pretty. What do you get for the vampire Mom you never knew you had? Elena may need suggestions!

A break-down of the commercial shown during ANTM.

The photographer for the photo shoot was Tyra Banks, herself. I really like episodes where she does these. They showed Tyra going in and picking out what clothing should be worn, and what hair and makeup choices would work best. I think the show could be cool if they always showed us why the people behind the scenes pick what they do for each girl’s styling for a shoot.

Tyra really coached the girls as she photographed them, unlike Jay who usually tries to let their natural talents (or lack of) come out to keep the contest fair.

During panel, the judges praised Tyra’s photography skills and set design more than any of the photos. Everyone liked Alexandra’s photo, they thought Raina needed tweaks in several departments and that she lacked passion for the theme, Angela looked pretty and soft, Jessica’s picture didn’t have enough drama for them, and Krista’s had “cover quality”, and she was praised for understanding angles.

Unsurprisingly, the best photo went to Krista. When this was announced, Krista exclaimed, “Again, Tyra?!” Yes, again. Alexandra was called next, then Angela. Raina and Jessica were in the bottom two, with Jessica being sent home. Her parting words told us she was going to L.A. or NYC to become a big time model. Uh, okay. But you’ll remember to take your kid, right?

Sirlinksalot: America’s Next Top Model